Avengers Spoofs
by kittehkatkakes
Summary: A bunch of Avengers spoofs I have had a LOT of fun writing!
1. What is this YOLO?

**I just had an AMAZING, FABULOUS, RIDICULOUS IDEA FOR LIKE FOUR FANFICTIONS. Enjoy this collection ~(o-o)~**

**Kittehkatkakes xxx**

Clint and Thor walked down to Tony's lab. Clint was going to use Tony's latest invention... to make popcorn. Again.

"You with the Eye of Hawk, I do not think the man 'metaphorically' made of Iron will appreciate this."

"YOLO!" Clint yelled.

"YOLO? What?!"

"It means you only live once, dumbass. It also means you can do what you like." Thor ignored the insult and rolled the world around his mouth.

"YOLOOOOOO. YOOOOOOOLO. YOLLLLLLLLO." Then he grinned and his face lit up.

"Oh, crap." Clint muttered as he realised what he'd done.

"YOLO! YOLO! YOLO! YOLO!" Thor yelled as he ran around the lab, blasting stuff with Mjolnir with every exclamation. There were two angry yells as Bruce and Tony walked in, and hysterical laughter as Drew and Natasha poked their heads around the corner. Hawkeye just stood there with his unpopped popcorn.


	2. THIS SANDWICH DOESN'T HAVE TURKEY IN IT

**Got the idea for this one from a Pewdiepie video a while back! Thanks bros!**

**Kittehkatkakes xxx**

For once, Tony Stark was making lunch. Or, at least, trying to. It was usually Drew who cooked, as she was waaaaay more experienced – or they ordered. But it was Drew's day off, and Tony's turn to cook. He had a problem. What did Clint want again? Crap. Drew definitely should've cooked. But she was exhausted, and lay on the couch with Wolf, sleeping. Now, any normal person would just ask Clint (politely) what he wanted again because they forgot. But not Tony. No, Tony had an ego. An ego the size of Mars, and he thought that if he asked _that specific question_ it would shrink to the size of Pluto. How drastically horrifying! So instead he decided Clint would have ham.

Clint opened his sandwich. He frowned. He looked at Tony, then back at his sandwich.

"Tony..." he said dangerously.

"Yes?" Iron Man replied, innocent and unfazed.

"THIS SANDWICH DOESN'T HAVE TURKEY IN IT! FREAKIN' GET IT RIGHT YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Hawkeye threw the sandwich at Tony, flipped the table and stormed out.

"So _that _was what he wanted."

The other Avengers just stared.


	3. ICE MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO SUPER SOLDIERS

**THANK YOU TUMBLR FOR GIVING ME THIS IDEA. PM me or leave a review, **

**Kittehkatkakes xxx**

**All rights to respective idiots.**

"Hey Drew?" the Black Widow asked.

"Yup?" the Warrior replied, popping the 'p.'

"I'm boooored." Drew smiled, remembering saying the same thing to her when they first met.

"OK." Natasha sighed.

"You _do_ have a prank don't you?" the Warrior grinned, and replied in that soft Irish accent of hers.

"Now, Natasha dear, the question is, when _don't _I?" the girls leapt to their feet.

Steve walked into the kitchen. He was hungry. He stopped. Something was wrong. It may have been the fact that for once there was peace and quiet in the tower, or it may have been the fact that there were 'Warning' signs covering every surface in the kitchen. He sighed. _Another _of the girl's pranks? Cap walked to the fridge. There, flashing neon, was a brightly lit sign. It read, 'WARNING! ICE MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO SUPER SOLDIERS!' He'd had it. Steve hulked out, ripping off the doors of the fridge somehow, and throwing them at Clint who'd just walked in. Then he realised there was no ice in the fridge, and hulked out even more (if that was even possible.)

Natasha and Drew watched from around the corner, shaking with silent laughter.

"See! I _told_ you he'd get pissed." Drew managed to choke out.


	4. JARVIS!

**HEY GUYS IT'S KITTEHKATKAKES AND I'M BACK WITH MYSELF! Thank you to my best friend Mazza who gave me the idea for this one.**

**Kittehkatkakes xxx**

It wasn't Drew's fault. After all, Thor barely ever came to the Avenger's tower, and he didn't know about JARVIS. So when Steve suggested he 'permanantly stay at the tower' for some random 'team bonding excercise,' she saw her chance. The Warrior hacked into JARVIS' programming.

Everybody welcomed Thor in, and Drew asked if she could have a few words with him. She could see Clint and Tony biting their lips, and Natasha and Bruce shaking with silent laughter around the corner. Steve had his face buried in Wolf's fur, and he too was shaking. The Warrior, still managing to keep a straight face, led him into one of Tony's storage rooms and began to talk.

"A ghost?" Thor proclaimed, seemingly panicked.

"Yeah. We can talk to him and everything!" Thor jumped up and down, more eagerly this time.

"Let's do it! Please please please please please!" The Warrior smiled softly, and put one hand behind her back.

"Oh JARVIS who haunts this place, show us you are here! Talk to us!" she splayed the hand behind her back, the air rippled, and a plate flew off the table. Thor stared, open mouthed, as the other  
>Avengers tried to act as if this were a perfectly normal thing. Then JARVIS gave his best impression of a ghost noise and spoke.<p>

"How may I assist, um, haunt you?" that did the trick. Thor ran around the tower screaming about ghosts and what is this sorcery? Whilst the other Avengers slouched around, laughing their heads off. Drew was leaning on Wolf for support, her legs unable to hold her any longer. Just as she managed to calm down, he jumped out of the window and that set her off again. It took them two months to convince Thor to come back.


	5. The experiment

Drew and Clint were relaxing on the couch. Or, at least, trying to. Steve was bugging Clint to train, Tasha was bugging Drew to go shopping, and Tony and Bruce were making _way too much noise_ in the lab. Eventually, Natasha and Steve took Wolf running, and the noise seemed to quieten down. Drew floated four feet above Clint, who crashed on the sofa.

"Drew. Drew. DREW!"

"Huh? Whadyawant?" she jerked out of her sleep and fell on top of Clint. Hard.

"Owwwww..." they both groaned. Then The Warrior kicked out and flapped her wings as she was forcefully dragged off the sofa and held in the air by Iron Man.

"Tony? Let me gooo!" she was too tired for this.

"No. I need you to try something out for me." She sighed and went limp in his arms, allowing him to drag her down to the lab. He explained on the way.

"So me and Bruce have been developing these new thrusters for me, three times as powerful as my current ones."

"And I need to try them because...?"

"Because you are more experienced in the air. Now put these on." They looked exactly like his armoured boots and gloves he already had, and Drew had no idea why he couldn't get Bruce to try them. Reluctantly and grumbling to herself, she slipped them on.

"Three percent thrust capacity." Tony commanded. Drew felt the thrusters charge up, and a second later she was floating in the air.

"Navigate your way above and around these blocks." Bruce told her. At least he was being nicer than Tony about it. He pressed a button and huge, thick blocks came out of the ground. Drew completed one course.

"OK, we're going to up the thrust capacity to 15 percent." Tony got out his video camera.

"TONY!" Drew screamed as she ricocheted off the walls and boxes for, like, three entire minutes. She eventually slammed against a wall, unconscious, her wings splayed out behind her. she slid halfway down and fell the rest, landing sideways on the floor. Bruce ran to her side and carried her upstairs whilst Tony just stood there, laughing. She was not happy when she woke up. Maybe she should've gone shopping with Natasha.


	6. Dressing up

Thor was out. Tony was out. Everybody was out – except Drew and Natasha. And they had an idea.

"Hey Tash! Look at me!" Drew cried as she pranced down the stairs, wearing one of Thor's capes.

"I'm Shakespeare!" They fell about in fits of giggles until Natasha told Drew to wait there. She ran upstairs and came down five minutes later.

"God Bless America!" Good God. She was in Cap's suit, with the shield and everything. Then all hell broke loose.

"Look at me, Tony Stark, Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist. I became an expert in Astrophysics last night."

"HULK SMASH!"

"I'm Hawkeye, the one who thinks he's funny but really isn't, ha ha ha, I can imitate Steven Hawking, ha ha ha." (No offence to Steven Hawking, he's awesome.) Eventually they ended up in their original costumes, and crashed on the couches. The boys came home and didn't even want to know what they'd been doing.


	7. The Stink Bomb

"Ready?" Tasha whispered.

"As I'll ever be." Came the reply. Drew dropped the stink bomb through the air vent. It landed with perfect accuracy on Tony Stark's head, followed by an angry yell and LOTS of coughing. The Warrior created a bubble of air around herself and Natasha and they dropped into the lab, where Tony lay on the floor, coughing, his eyes watering.

"That's for knocking me out." Then the girls high-fived and walked out, like two BOSSES.

**Sorry it's so short, I had to rush this one before school started!**

**Kittehkatkakes xx**


	8. Shopping!

**IT'S KITTEHKATKAKES HERE WITH NO-ONE! OK, so I was out shopping with my family the other day when I came up with this epic idea. Reviewwwww! Or PM Meh. All rights to respective idiots.**

Bruce Banner sat on the floor and cried. He cried and cried and cried. He was heartbroken. Drew walked in.

"Woah. Bruce? Are you OK?" She crouched down beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Wolf lay on his lap, and Bruce half-heartedly ran a hand through his soft, thick fur.

"There's… We don't…" he sobbed.

"Bruce? Come on, what's the matter?"

"The fridge… the fridge! It's empty!" Drew gasped.

"WHAT?! Horrifying! I guess we'll just have to stop at the thing called Walmart that's just around the corner from here!" He nodded and sniffled.

"WE'RE GOING FOOD SHOPPING!" Drew called to the other Avengers. Everybody wanted to come.

The others rode in Tony's high-tech car with all its whatsamajiggas, but Drew rode on her bike instead. Wolf ran alongside her on the pavement, and she grinned over at him before returning her attention to the road. The truth was, she loved her bike. Not just because she loved the feeling of the wind in her hair and being free, but also because, like her hat and gun that rested so comfortably against her hip, her partner had bought it for her.

_She hadn't been upset that he hadn't got her anything for her birthday. No, that was typical of Skulduggery Pleasant. But Tanith and the rest of the Dead Men and all her friends had been so bubbly and excitable throughout the whole day she had barely noticed anything. Dexter screamed something about Anton to Saracen and Ravel, and they laughed. Ghastly chuckled, but laughed harder when Anton punched Dexter square in the face. Drew and Tanith were chatting and laughing – it was a girl thing. Skulduggery, however, hadn't said a word. He got up and said he needed to go outside for 'fresh air' or something. Tanith pointed out that he didn't need to breathe, and this sent everybody into hysterics. Pleasant left without a word._

_Now, seeing as Drew had been his partner for so long, she noticed something was wrong. It was in his voice, in the way he walked, the way she could see him standing in the driveway with his hands in his pockets. She, too, excused herself, and, walking out the front door, turned to face her partner._

"_Something… wrong?" She asked in that accent. So soft, so silky._

"_No." He replied, his voice as soft as velvet. They both had Irish accents. She sighed and leaned against the wall next to him. She felt something being placed onto her head, and something else being pressed into her hand._

"_For you, my dear partner." He had said to her. She had laughed softly, hugged him, and made to go back inside. No thanks was needed – they both knew how much The Warrior appreciated his gift. The skeleton grabbed her arm._

"_One more thing." He led her up the driveway, and there, sitting right next to his Bentley, was a sleek, black motorbike. He tossed her the keys. She screamed into his shoulder and hugged him, and he hugged her back._

"_Thank you Skul, thank you so so much!" He shrugged and lifted her off the ground. Her eyes were bright and happy, happier than he'd ever seen her._

"_Test run?" He put her back down._

"_Why not?" She climbed on first, yelled for Tanith to come outside so they could ride together, and revved her engine. She drove alongside the Bentley, whooping and laughing. She was as smooth and skilled a driver as her partner._

As they pulled into the Walmart car park, Bruce having calmed down by now, Drew parked her bike next to Tony's car and got off. She shook out her hair and laughed.

They walked into the shop with an empty shopping trolley, and Tony and Bruce (his bad mood forgotten) immediately ran off to look at new technology they could 'improve' and other stuff they could waste their money on. Natasha tripped over her feet running to the clothes section, and Clint was trying to explain the concept of certain sports to Thor in that aisle. The Warrior spread her wings out, a confused expression on her face, and accidentally knocked over a man.

"Whoops, sorry." She helped him back up. So now it was just her and Cap. They chatted about random stuff (look, I don't know what superheroes talk about!) as they walked, Steve checking items off his list as Drew waved her hand and items flew into their trolley. They picked up other items they wanted, too, and soon enough their trolley was full.

"Wait here, I'll go get another one." Cap said, and jogged off. Drew nodded and hovered in the air, slightly bored.

"Are you the Warrior?" A curious voice asked. Drew flipped over in the air and smiled warmly at the two little kids staring in awe at her.

"Hello." They were so cute! The children immediately started jumping up and down.

"Hi! We think you're so awesome and brave! Will you sign my Avengers tee-shirt?" She did.

"Thank you! You guys are brave as well, you know." She reached down with both her wings, and scooped the kids up in them, pointing at the bravery flowing in their chests.

"Touch it, it won't hurt!" They followed her instructions, and the blue stuff made images – lions, wolves and dolphins – their wildest dreams. When Steve came back, he watched for a moment, watched the kids petting Wolf. Drew waved over at him as the kids ran back to their parents.

"Why did I ever stop doing rounds?" She sighed.

"You were really good with those kids. I think you should start again!" She nodded.

"I do too, Steve. I do too."

When they were at the checkout, they called all the other Avengers so they could meet up outside. There were lots of little kids lined up against the wall waiting for their parents to finish packing up the shopping, and they all gasped as they saw the two Avengers walking past them. Drew and Cap smiled at all of them, and Drew waved at the two little kids she'd seen earlier. She picked them up on her wings again and floated, whilst they giggled and chatted excitedly. When they finally got outside, the others were waiting for them. Natasha had new clothes, which Drew really really liked – she'd borrow them someday. Thor was bouncing a football on one knee, Clint throwing a tennis ball at the wall. Bruce was fiddling with a gadget of some sort.

Tony, however, was nowhere to be seen.

"He said he had something to do." Bruce commented. They waited for a few more minutes, and then came Tony… carrying a forty inch flat screen TV. They facepalmed.

"Every… Single…Time," Breathed Cap from behind his hand.

**Tried to make this one extra long to make up for this morning's!**

**Kittehkatkakes xxx**


	9. Tony's Arc Reactor

**Hi guys, it's me. If you don't know who I am by now then what am I supposed to do?! OK, so my friend Mazza once again gave me the idea for this one! I just wanted to know if you guys think I should keep my kind-of OC, Drew, in these spoofs? Does it make them funnier or should I just drop it? Do you think they're centred on her? Should I keep her in but make her less involved? Let me know in the reviews or PM me,**

**Kittehkatkakes xxx**

Drew walked into the lab. She had been calling Tony for ages – the coffee machine was broken – but he hadn't answered. She was annoyed, because he was probably listening to music or something like that, or just completely blanking her. Her bad mood disappeared and was replaced by panic and worry when she walked in to find Tony lying on the floor, completely unconscious, with the arc reactor ripped out of his chest and lying, forgotten, next to him.

Drew walked quickly over. She had training for this, not just from S.H.I.E.L.D, but also from her time with the Dead Men. She noted there was an apple in Tony's hand, unbitten, which was lying on his chest. There was a pulse, at least, but she needed to fix the arc reactor. It was completely dead. She was yelling at JARVIS to get the other Avengers, check his pulse, blood levels, how close the shrapnel was getting to his heart. It was moving surprisingly fast.

The Warrior gave the arc reactor a blast of ice-coloured light from her hand, and it charged up again. She plunged it back into Tony's chest, and sat back on her feet.

"Is he OK?"

"What happened?"

"Look! The man metaphorically made of Iron is awakening!"

Tony groaned and sat up. Natasha looked at him, concerned.

"Tony? What happened? Drew said she walked in and just saw you lying there without the arc reactor!" Stark sighed.

"Weeeeellllllll… I was trying to replace it with an apple to see how it would affect my body."

"Fix the coffee machine. It's broken." Drew slapped him and walked out. Her bad mood was back.

**Also I just realised how short these are on fanfiction! I write like two pages for each one!**


	10. The Force

**All rights to respective idiots.**

"Cap, have you ever seen Star Wars?" The Warrior asked. He hesitated._ What a great idea. I am amazing, _she thought to herself.

"Never mind. Well, did you know they have this thing called The Force that is actually based off a real life ability?"

"No WAY! Can I try it?" She nodded eagerly.

"All you have to do is hold your hands out in front of you – yes, like that – and concentrate real hard on that kiwi fruit. That's it –"She snapped her palm against the air behind her back and the kiwi levitated. Cap jumped up, super excited now, and ran off, yelling that he was going to show Bruce.

"BRUCIE-KINS! LOOK WHAT DREW SHOWED ME TO DO! IT'S THE FORCE!" Bruce sighed. Really? Brucie-kins?

"Don't call me that." He went back to the project he was working on.

"Pleeeeeeease, Bruceie-kins?" He turned back. Maybe this WAS going to be interesting.

"The Force, huh?" The super-soldier nodded eagerly, and held his hands out like Drew had taught him. He concentrated really hard on the screwdriver lying on Bruce's desk – and nothing happened. He tried again. Still nothing.

"Wait – it works. Come upstairs, Drew will show you!" Bruce sighed and followed him. Up in the living room, Drew was standing in the corner, making shapes with fire in her hand. A flower, a dragon, a bird, a wolf. Cap walked over to the table and concentrated on the kiwi fruit again. It moved. Bruce noticed Drew moving her hand slightly, congratulated Cap on his victory, and walked over to her.

"When are you going to tell him?" She giggled.

"Never."

"You'll have to at some point."

"When he's done embarrassing himself in front of Fury."

**I'm now open to requests!**


	11. Sledding

**Hey guys, it's Kittehkatkakes 'n' I'm here with the freaks in my school. So, I've read your reviews and you want me to keep Drew in for now! Thank you to sailorraven34 for giving me the idea for this fanfic! All rights to respective idiots.**

Cap was off doing something for Fury. Tony had no idea whether it was S.H.I.E.L.D stuff or not. Well, he knew, but he didn't care. All he really cared about was that Steve had made the mistake of leaving his shield behind. An evil grin crept onto his face.

"YO! WHO WANTS TO GO ON A FIELD TRIP?" He yelled.

"Tony, where are we going?" Drew asked as she flew beneath his private jet with Wolf.

"I told you, it's a surprise."

"I'm cold."

"Well, if you had decided to come on the jet like the rest of us, you might be warm right now, but no, The Warrior has to do things her way."

"I will blast a hole in your jet, rip off the wings and then let you fall into the Arctic Ocean." Tony shut up, and let her board. They joked around for a while, and Tasha and Drew played cards, until Bruce noticed they were rapidly descending.

"Really? The Arctic?"

"Just watch." Tony got out without his suit, then came back in and asked Drew to make a bubble of warm air around him or something. Drew wrapped her wings around herself, and Wolf walked close to give her more warmth. Tony led them over to a mountain of snow, and Drew flew them to the top. He produced Cap's shield, sat on it, and slid all the way down the mountain.

"See?" He asked as he came back up, shaking the snow out of his hair. Then he produced five more from nowhere. The only difference was they were painted differently.

"Clones. Fun. Sit." Thor tossed one clone each to Drew and Tasha, and they rode down the mountain together.

"Hellz yeah!" Tony rode the original. A big mistake.

When it was his go, he didn't stop. Drew snapped her palm at the air, trying to slow the shield down, but to no avail. She also tried sending tendrils of shadows to grasp the shield, but they kept sliding off it. It carried on skidding, and slid over the ice, finally landing in the ocean – with Tony still on it. The other Avengers ran over to Tony, who came up coughing and spluttering.

YOU DID WHAT?!" Cap shrieked.

"We went sledding… on your shield. Then Tony rode it into the ocean, like it was his majestic horse." Clint sniggered. Tony was ill, but it was his own fault!

"TONY SONOFABITCH STARK!" Tony came out, sniffling and coughing.

"YOU DENTED MY SHIELD… RIDING IT INTO THE OCEAN! THEN YOU LEFT THE OTHERS TO _FLY _HOME WHILST YOU FLEW THE SHIP! THEY WERE FREEZING TO DEATH!"

"I was close to getting hypothermia."

"_Run._" Drew muttered. He did. He jumped out the window. His suit followed him. Cap grabbed him as he flew back up, and refused to let go. He _prised _Tony out of the suit with his godly power, and then dragged him back. His yelps could be heard all over the tower.

"FIX IT!"

"Dude, I'm trying! Bruce said it couldn't be fixed until tomorr- uh, five p.m.!"

Let's just say it was fixed waaaay sooner than that.


	12. War

The Avengers were out flying on a training exercise.

"Hey Guys? I'm getting a call…" Tony said.

"I don't recognise the number," Proclaimed Bruce.

"But I do." The Warrior muttered.

"Put it up on the big screen."

"Hello, Avengers! Hahahahahahahahhahah!" The figure cackled.

"Chloe, what do you want?" The girl on screen, Chloe Cupcake, had big, purple eyes that had lead many sorcerers to their death. Her hair was bright pink, as was her lipstick, nails and clothes… everything was pink. She poisoned people using her cupcakes – also pink. God knows how she did it, though; she was terrible at pick-up lines!

"Oh! Who's this? The Warrior? Where's your partner today, little girl?"

"I haven't got time for this. _What do you want?_"

"Isn't it obvious?" Drew facepalmed.

"I'm declaring war." The other Avengers stiffened.

"No." Drew said.

"But I just declared it!"

"Boo-hoo for you. I am refusing your declaration."

"You can't do that!"

"I just did."

"But… the war…"

"There will be no war."

"Why not?"

"Because I said so. Get over it, Chloe. Oh, and don't get back together with Scapegrace – he's a girl now."

"I have one question…"

"Yes?"

"Are you sane?"

"No. Neither is my partner. Neither is the rest of Ireland. We're all completely and utterly insane."

"I – I don't really want to mess with your partner."

"Chloe, you don't want to mess with me, let alone the both of us."

"Oh, tarts." She hung up.

"Well, no war then?"

"I – I think you intimidated her a little too much." The Warrior laughed at Cap's statement.

"I only told the truth."

**I am currently out of ideas, so plz Pm/review!**


	13. The Spider

**Okay, now I got this idea last night when there was this big-ass spider in my room. Replay?**

**Me: (Walks into room, sees biggest spider I've ever seen sitting on my bed)**

**Me: Daddy? Could you just come upstairs please?**

**Dad: No, leave it alone, it will go away**

**Me: Please Dad! I can't go to sleep with it on my bed! (I literally refused to go in the room)**

**Dad: Fiiiine (Comes upstairs) Get me the hoover**

**Me: (Brings hoover upstairs)**

**Dad: (Hoovers spider, it's going round and round in the bit where the dust collects, then he dumps it outside where IT STARTS CRAWLING UP THE BLOODY WALL AGAIN!)**

**Me: (Screams and runs inside.)**

**Okay? I have arachnophobia, I can deal with little spiders but not those big ones with the really long legs, and I can deal with the furry cute ones, like tarantulas, and Black Widows are cool, and… I forgot where I was going with that. Anyway, enjoy!**

**Kittehkatkakes xxx**

Tasha looked out of the window next to her seat on Tony's jet. Drew was right next to her, and Wolf was playing with Cap and Thor. Tony and Bruce were having a science-y conversation, and Clint mucking around with his arrows. Then Tasha let out a whimper and leaned right over to Drew, all the time facing the window with a look of horror on her face.

"Tasha?"

"IT'S PLOTTING MY DEMISE!" She screeched, and buried her face in a wild pillow that had randomly appeared. Every so often she would peek over the top and glance out the window. Drew looked over. There, sitting on the window, _on the inside_, was the most massive spider she had ever seen. She, too, looked on in horror, and screamed something about evil spiders who wanted to kidnap her and take her to the evil spider-land of evil spiders where everybody was evil. The boys looked over at the two girls who were miraculously still sitting in their seats, leaning as far away from the window as possible with looks of pure terror on their faces.

"Uhhhh… Is there a problem?" Bruce asked. They pointed to the window. He walked over and peered closer.

"I can't see anything." They pointed again and he moved his face closer, earning a terrified cry from the girls.

"DON'T MAKE IT MOVE!"

"WHAT IF IT JUMPS?!" Bruce sighed and picked up the spider on the window. It was a teeny garden spider.


	14. The Fault in Our Stars

**Enjoy! All rights to respective idiots.**

**Kittehkatkakes xx**

**P.S: I'm open for ideas!**

**P.P.S: No romance!**

**P.P.P.S: I think I'll have a policy now where if I post a new fanfic and it doesn't get any positive review within a week, I'll take it off fanfiction.**

**P.P.P.P.S: Should I keep doing these A/N's? Let me know!**

Drew sat and sobbed. Her legs were crossed, and she buried her face in Wolf's fur, while he sat and nuzzled into her. She cried and cried and cried, a bit like Bruce had, but her situation was worse. She cried for like 20 minutes until Natasha walked in.

Now, Drew didn't show her feelings often, so Tasha immediately knew something was wrong. She ran over to her friend, hugging her, and they climbed into the rafters, where Drew still sobbed.

"Drew. Hey. Come on, what happened?"

"He… he… he died!" She wailed, and began sobbing again. A million possibilities popped into the Black Widow's head, but the one that stuck was her _partner_.

"Your partner? Oh god,-"The Warrior cut her off with a bitter laugh.

"No, what?! He… Augustus…"

"Drew_, who are you talking about_?" Drew half-heartedly waved a book in the air – _The Fault in our Stars._ Tash just laughed, comforted her friend, and jumped down. Drew burned the book with fire from her own hand.


	15. A N

**Hey guys. This is just a little update from me! So, I wanted to let you know about a new short story I'm writing, about when Drew finally shows the Avengers what it looks like when she gets angry… it will be up shortly after this note, probably tonight. I am also planning an Avengers/Pewdiepie crossover, but I want you guys to give me the go-ahead before I do that. The Avengers spoofs will carry on, but I am suffering from a deadly cold and writer's block right now, so any ideas are welcome! Check out my new story! Thank you all so much for your positive reviews and support,**

**Kittehkatkakes xxx**


	16. Ice Bucket Challenge (Sorry it's late)

The Avengers stood. For once in their lives they were scared – properly scared. Drew's eyes were taking on a purple tint.

"Ready?" Bruce smirked. They sighed. The genius pressed a button next to him and three litres of icy water poured onto each Avenger – except Bruce, of course, because they all knew what would happen if he did the ice bucket challenge. There was a bout of swearing from Tony, Clint screamed something unintelligible, Natasha yelled that

"я пристрелю тебя и копировать ваши внутренности из , Брюс Баннер" (I will shoot you and rip your insides out, Bruce Banner) **I used google translate – apologies if anything is wrong!** Thor cried that he should've been eating pop tarts and

"Why in Odin's name are people on the invisible web that spreads across the world doing this?!" Drew kind of just froze there before lifting the water off herself.

"CHEATER!" Tony screamed. She dumped it on him instead. Cap, well Cap just ran up to Bruce and asked for his towel, but a very dry Drew ran and grabbed it first. He yelled something angrily at her.

"What? You should be right at home now; you were like this for eighty years!" Bruce sighed.

"Drew, give him back his towel."

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"OK then. JARVIS?"

"My pleasure, sir." Bolts of electricity shook Drew's body and she jerked around wildly for a minute before falling to the floor. She groaned and stood up again.

"Owwwww… Bad idea?"

"Yup." Bruce nodded.


	17. Church

**Guess who just had another terrifying spider experience… All rights to respective idiots.**

Steve had dragged them all to church. Again.

"But… the new exp-"Tony tried.

"No, you all ought to be a tad more religious." Cap wasn't having any of his shit.

"Um, I'll come, but as long as it's not the Church of the Faceless…" Drew stated nervously, remembering her terrible encounter with the Gods. Her partner had been tortured for almost a year after that one.

"God no, what kind of religion even _is_ that?" Tony yelled.

"NATASHAAAAAA!" Clint screamed.

"YESSSSSSSSS!" She screamed back, right in his ear.

"Ouch… sorry I thought you were somewhere else." She raised an eyebrow.

"Steve wants to drag us to Church!" He whined. Tasha's eyes lit up.

"Church? I think that's a great idea!" Bruce just shook his head and sighed as Thor walked in, holding a pop tart, with crumbs all down his tunic-thingy and strawberry jam all over Mjolnir.

_~An amazing time/place skip to the church an hour later~_

"I'm sorry ma'am; you're going to have to leave your dog out here."

The deacon told her. Drew's eyes flashed red for a moment, but then she took in a look of understanding at how idiotic humans could be. She tapped her leg and Wolf sat just near the doors of the church.

"Stay there and be good, Okay?" She told him, scratching behind his ears. Wolf gave her an understanding look and nuzzled her palm.

"Good boy." They walked into the church, and Steve insisted they sit _right at the front,_ ignoring the other Avengers' groans and grumbles of protest. It was mostly because of the fact that everybody would know who they were, Drew 'don't want the people behind me craning their necks to see over or around my wings', and anyway she and Natasha were 'scared of crowds', but the biggest reason was because of Thor. Everybody knew what happened when Thor went to church. The response was:

_I confess to almighty God,_

_And to you, my brothers and sisters,_

_That I have sinned through my own fault,_

_In my thoughts and in my words,_

_In what I have done,_

_And in what I have failed to do;_

_And I ask blessed Mary, ever virgin,_

_All the angels and saints,_

_And you, my brothers and sisters,_

_To pray for me to the Lord, our God._

Thor said (or rather, bellowed):

_I confesseth to almighty god,_

_And to thou, mine brothers and sisters,_

_That I hast sinn'd through mine owneth fault,_

_In mine thoughts and in mine words,_

_In what I hast done,_

_And in what I hast fail'd to doeth;_

_And I asketh bless'd Mary, ev'r virgin,_

_All the angels and saints,_

_And thou, mine brothers and sisters,_

_To prayeth f'r me to the l'rd, our god._

"Most embarrassing moment of my life." Clint muttered to Drew as the priest looked on disapprovingly. She tried, and failed, to stifle a giggle, but managed to discreetly turn it into a cough. The priest returned to the mass.

"Blah, blah, Gospel, blah, please kneel." They did as told. Then Natasha had a mini fit that may have looked epileptic to people who didn't know her better, thrashing about wildly. After about thirty seconds of this, and the other Avengers snorting with hidden laughter, she whimpered and ran out just before the end of mass.

"I DOETH WONDERETH WHAT BETID TO THE SPID'R-LADY!" (Betid means happened) Thor shrieked. There was a scream form outside, supposedly from Natasha.

"Thor! Keep your voice down!" Cap muttered angrily.

"Go in peace, glorifying the Lord, blah de blah blah." Finished the priest. Exiting the church, the remaining Avengers signed autographs, posed for photos, and chatted and laughed with people. When they finally got outside, the saw Natasha with her face buried into Wolf's fur, trembling. Drew knelt down beside her friend and whispered into her ear.

"Hey Tasha. What happened? Are you OK?" _I do this a lot. Too often._ She thought to herself. Tasha nodded and mumbled something unintelligible into Wolf's fur.

"Speak up; I can't hear you like that." The Warrior said, but gently, because she was worried for her friend. Tasha muttered into Drew's ear.

"I looked down, in church I mean, and there was… on me, there was a spider! It was just crawling over my body like it owned me!" Drew giggled and sent a blast of bravery her way, giving her the courage to stand back up and face the other Avengers.

"We're done."

**So yeah, this happened to me. If you PM me I will give you the full story, as this one is briefed and missing a few funny details.**

**Kittehkatkakes xxx**


	18. Pop tarts

"AH! Perfect! She who fights the Wars, I would like to know how to make pop tarts without the man 'metaphorically' made of Iron." Drew giggled as she walked in, and then stood with her mouth open at the sight before her. Boxes of pop tarts lay in neat piles all over the counters, and she managed to shut her mouth before she walked over to Thor, trying to keep a straight face.

"Errrrr, OK. So, you basically put them into the toaster like this," She demonstrated,

"And then you wait a couple of minutes for them to pop back up. But remember to let them cool before you eat them, OK?" He nodded vigorously. Drew smiled kindly and walked out. She then came back a few minutes later with Clint and Natasha, and, unknown to the God of Thunder, they began to film him. It started off OK. Thor put the pop tarts into the toaster, waited patiently, and then scoffed them down whether they were cool or not. But after a while, he began to go a bit crazy. He realized that two pop tarts at a time were not enough for the mighty God of Thunder! No, surely he could fit more than one into each toaster slot! He opened boxes and boxes of them, violently stuffing the rectangles into the toaster slot. When it couldn't have been messier in the kitchen, he pulled the lever. It was chaos.

The toaster exploded, sending crumbs and hot jam everywhere. Bits of metal flew around the stunned God, who basically just stood there dumbfounded, and the threesome who had been standing at the door filming him burst into laughter. Clint was holding onto the door frame, whilst Drew and Natasha lay on the floor, laughing harder than ever. It got funnier. Thor absentmindedly walked away, with that 'I'm-trying-to-cover-up-that-I-did-something-bad-wait-what-who-said-that' look on his face, but then ran back faster than they'd ever seen before when Tony and Bruce walked into the kitchen. They stopped in their tracks.

"MY WALLS!" Tony screamed.

"THOR!" The Science Bros. yelled.

"WE SPENT THREE BLOODY MONTHS DEVELOPING THAT TOASTER!"

"Oh, for the love of Odin." Thor mumbled, and started swinging his hammer.

"YOU WANNA GO BRO? WE'LL GO!" Tony shrieked. His suit flew to him and he began to shoot at Thor. Bruce stood there, fuming but not wanting to hurt the others when he turned into the other guy. Naturally, Thor electrocuted Tony with Mjolnir, and then jumped out the window with Tony in close pursuit.

"Should I go and get them?" Drew asked, seeing as she was the only one in the room who could fly. Clint just shook his head and continued laughing.


	19. Another Broken Toaster

**Yeah, this happened to me whilst I was in France a few weeks ago. I was soooo embarrassed. PM me for the full story!**

**Kittehkatkakes xxx**

"Tony?" Drew asked sleepily. It was, like, three in the morning and they had to get up for a case or something. She didn't care. She was tired, and she had been comfortable in her position in the air.

"Yes?" He was wide awake and bouncing around the tower. How could he even do that at this time in the morning?

"Will you make me breakfast? Please?" He stopped bouncing.

"No."

"But I'm tiiiired."

"I don't care. You know how to work the toaster!" The truth was, there was a new toaster in the tower after Thor had ruined the last one popping pop tarts. Drew didn't have _a single clue_ of how to use it. She sighed.

"You are so much work sometimes."

"I know," she grinned and walked out.

_~really really really tiny time/place skip to the kitchen three seconds later~_

She approached the toaster. She frowned.

"Uh, JARVIS? Can I have the instructions for this thing?" JARVIS immediately started babbling a whole load of stuff she couldn't understand, so she blocked him out and sighed. The Warrior took her staff off her back and poked the toaster. Nothing happened. She stuck the bread in, and poked it again. She sent a blast of air towards it, and still there was no result. Then Drew saw a switch thing on the side, and she pulled it down. The toaster immediately started making noise and getting hotter. She smiled at her victory and sat on the counter; waiting for the bread to pop back up like it did in the old toaster.

Four minutes later and the toast was still in the toaster. It was smoking a bit, but she dismissed it as 'totally normal' and 'it just happens when you use a new toaster.' Then it caught fire.

"That's…Definitely not supposed to happen." She guessed.

"Crap." She gathered some water in her hand and sent it towards the toaster before the fire alarms could go off. It crackled for a minute, smoked a little more, and then just sat there. Three seconds later it exploded. It wasn't working any more.

"Tony will pay for that." She said to herself, and then louder, so the others could hear,

"TONY!"

"Yeeeees?" Came the reply.

"We need a new toaster." She could literally _hear _the facepalms.

_~Le little while later~_

"YOU'RE LATE BECAUSE WHAT?!" Nick Fury shouted.

"We're late because Drew didn't know how to work the toaster." Clint gave her an accusing stare, and she turned pink.

"Look, OK? The old toaster made the toast pop back up, and I was expecting this one to do the same… but obviously that's not how it worked." Nick Fury face palmed.

"Detention, tomorrow. Three o'clock."

"_In the morning?!"_ He nodded.

"All of you. You can't afford to be late again."

"But it wasn't me! It was the toaster! Blame Tony and Bruce, they developed it!"

"WHAT? Blame us? You blew it up!" Drew's eyes turned blue, but there was a mischievious glint in them. She sent fire after Tony and water after Bruce. They struggled, but to no avail, and ended up making it worse. Bruce was soaked, and Tony had minor burns that cured themselves in about three hours.

"Look, geniuses." She proceeded to whisper something into their ears at which they grinned for a moment, but then turned very very pale and began trembling (Under her orders, of course.)

_~A few hours later~_

"What did you tell Tony and Bruce?" Tasha asked Drew as they lounged on the sofa. The boys hadn't come out of the lab for a few hours.

"Well, I told them to find us a way out of detention, and if they did, I'd bake them cookies for a week."

"You'd bake them cookies?"

"Please Natasha; I bake you cookies nearly all the time." The Black Widow nodded.

"So why did they go all white and trembly?"

"Well, I had to make Fury believe I said something really intimidating, so I told them to think of the scariest thing imaginable. It worked." Natasha nodded, bro fisted Drew, and the two walked out to see what the boys were planning in the lab.

**OK, so I started this one last night, and this morning I literally couldn't remember the plot, so I improvised from "YOU'RE LATE BECAUSE WHAT?!" So yeah. Also I'm rushing it so bad before school starts, so let me know what you think!**


	20. The mystery hat (ooooooohhhhh)

Thor walked in. Loudly. He sat with a 'thump' on the sofa next to Drew, who would have yelled at him if it was any other day, but was just too tired. Instead, she merely opened one eye and raised an eyebrow, before going back to sleep. Then she leapt up faster than a lightning bolt and began screaming.

"NATASHA! NATASHA! OH MY GOD, NATASHA!" The other Avenger ran in with her guns in both hands, but when she saw the scene before her she dropped them and began screaming too.

"OH MY GOD! OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!" Both the girls were literally _hugging _Thor, who sat there dumbfounded on the sofa wondering what had caused maybe the two most serious girls in the world to act like this. Maybe it was the hat that the man made of iron gave to him? Or the sword?

**So what kind of hat did Tony give him? Leave a review and the answer will be revealed in the next chapter!**


	21. Opera

**OK, so I had a couple of replies for the hat thing, like soda hats, top hats, Loki hats, cute panda hats, but none of them were right! It was an Adventure Time hat, yaaaaaay! All rights to respective idiots and enjoy! (Based on something that happened to me. Just think that my sister is Tony, my mother Nick, and me Natasha and Drew.)**

**Kittehkatkakes xxx**

Drew was on a mission. She snooped through Tony's cupboards, looking for a hat like Thor's (which was absolutely amazing) because she really really wanted one. It was OK, Tony was in the shower and he probably wouldn't be out for ages. As usual. The Warrior sighed in disappointment as she emptied the last of the hats on the floor and found nothing. Instead, she picked up a black beanie and slung that on her head. She looked good in black. Then the superhero paused in absolute horror, before giggling to herself. She could hear something coming from Tony's bathroom.

"Tasha, come here!" She whispered over their private comms. The assassin crept into the room a few moments later. By this time, Drew had her phone out and was recording Tony _singing _in the shower. She pointed towards the door, and the girls fell about in fits of giggles, before Natasha whispered,

"I have an idea."

_~about an hour's time skip~_

"FURY! NICK, OH BOY YOU GOTTA HEAR THIS!" The girls screamed in unison as they ran around the helicarrier.

"What? What the hell is going on?!" Fury yelled as the girls locked on to their target.

"We… we caught Tony singing in the shower!" They cried.

"Aaaaaand… what's wrong with that?" He asked.

"Well, it's not _right._" He just looked at them sceptically. Then realisation dawned on Drew.

"OH… we get it." Natasha looked at her questioningly, and she whispered something into the assassin's ear. The red-head nodded.

"What?"

"You, Nicholas Fury, think it's OK to sing in the shower, because you _sing opera in the shower every day._"

"I do not!" But there was no changing the girl's minds.

_~tomorrow~_

Nick Fury walked onto the bridge. He was not happy. The girls (well, Drew,) had drawn posters of him – in a dress and in an opera house, standing next to a microphone. There were music notes coming out of his mouth. They had written something about a concert and invited _everybody_ who worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. How was he going to clear this one up?


	22. Pranking Coulson

**Heeeey everyone! It's me! (Again!) So, I am actually **_**still **_**suffering from writer's block, any ideas are really welcome! I am open for suggestions and if you have any questions about Drew or Wolf or anything/one else I will be more than happy to answer! Just PM me or leave a review,**

**Kittehkatkakes xxx**

The Avengers sat in the helicarrier. They were bored. So bored, in fact, that they had taken to pranking people. Fury had sat them in detention, but naturally Drew had blown off the doors. They were in the rafters on the bridge. It was now two in the morning, and Drew had an idea.

"Hey." Her voice had that I'm-really-tired-but-I-could-suddenly-get-very-hyper tone to it.

"What?" Tony grumbled back.

"Let's prank Coulson." She grinned madly.

_~A le small time skip yaaaay~_

Coulson was very tired. Not sleepy, tired. There was a difference! Sleepy was, like, cute and dozing off, like what the girls did, and tired was murder and 10 cups of coffee. He had had to listen to the Director complaining about how 'he wished there would be another apocalypse to keep the Avengers busy' _**(thanks Sailorraven34!) **_and had stayed up late to devise a plan that probably wouldn't even work. He stalked into the kitchen where the all the Avengers sat (Except Thor who was still sleeping), completely ignored them (their giggles and chuckles were probably about something really stupid – as usual) and went to make himself a coffee. He finished and sat down, adding a spoonful of sugar.

"Hi Coulson," Clint muttered.

"Sleep OK?" Natasha giggled.

"Fine… thanks." He replied, and took a sip of his coffee. He then proceeded to spit it out all over the floor (much to the Avengers' amusement) and run around the canteen before finally galloping over to the sink and gulping down mouthfuls of water to get the taste of salt out of his mouth. When he finally turned back around, the Avengers were nowhere to be seen. Fury was so right – they needed another apocalypse. Coulson took out every weapon he had on his body, including that big one that went boom, and went Avenger-hunting. He meant murder this time.

_~another mini time skip~_

Thor walked into the kitchen. After watching Coulson chasing his teammates round the ship and finally managing to take Drew hostage and tickle her until she was crying and begging – this had taken at least half an hour – he was pretty hungry. After that (how do I say this?) _episode, _they sat back down in the canteen (Drew as far away from Coulson as possible) and Thor went to make himself some pop tarts.

"For _breakfast?!"_ Coulson had screamed.

"Yes. Son of Coul, do you have a problem with this?" Coulson had just shaken his head and watched Thor make his pop tarts. However, he stared with his mouth wide open when Thor tipped the_ whole tin of sugar over his pop tarts._ He popped one into his mouth, chewed, and then had the same reaction as Coulson. Drew cursed under her breath and jumped out of the window, Wolf and Natasha on her heels. She dropped for a while and just before she hit the water, spread her wings and rocketed off, with Natasha balancing on her back. No risks.


	23. Scrambled eggs

**Hey! It's meeeee! So I am desperately in need of ideas etc. and I need your help! If you do have any ideas or questions PM me or leave a review – it makes me so happy to see what you guys think!**

**Kittehkatkakes xxx**

Drew sat up in bed, gasping for air. She'd had another nightmare. _Comes with the job, _she thought. When her heart had stopped racing she jumped down from the ceiling and looked at the clock. Two a.m. Great. The Warrior walked silently down the stairs – but others were not being so silent.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Who was Tony yelling at now?

"NO! THIS IS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!" Bruce? Hadn't she passed his room though?

"I HAVE SAVED THE WORLD MULTIPLE – _MULTIPLE TIMES!_ YOU WILL FUCKING OBEY ME!" But Bruce had saved the world too! The Warrior was now listening through the kitchen door.

"I AM IRON MAN! I AM TONY STARK, THE GENIUS BILLIONAIRE PLAYBOY PHILANTHROPIST WHO BECAME AN EXPERT IN ASTROPHYSICS LAST NIGHT!" Quoting himself? Really?

"I AM AN AVENG-" Drew couldn't listen to him anymore. She strolled into the room, and Tony, who had been yelling at the stove for the past few minutes, turned around and hid something behind his back. He looked very guilty.

"Tony? What's going on? It's two in the morning!" She asked sleepily.

"Ummmmm… nothing. It's all under control." The fire alarm went off.

"SHUT YOUR FACE JARVIS!" He screamed.

"Dude, keep it down! What's going on?"

"OK. Well, I was working in the lab and I got hungry. So I made scrambled eggs." He moved aside to reveal a black, charred mess of what used to be his scrambled eggs… maybe. It was smoking and she could see bits of egg shell still in it.

"Give me that." She held her hands out for the spatula… and was given a fish slicer. Tony definitely needed some cooking lessons.

**Should I do a bonus story where he orders pizza in the middle of the night?**

**Thanks for leaving a review/PM me, **

**Kittehkatkakes xx**


	24. Bonus chapter - pizza

**Hey! So, I spoke to some of you and was told that you want the bonus story! Here it is! (All rights to respective idiots, feel open to ask any questions, PM me or leave a review, suggestions also help!)**

**Kittehkatkakes xx**

"BRUCE! PLEASE, OH GOD, SOMEONE HELP!" Bruce bolted out of bed at the sound of Tony's alarmed voice. A million thoughts swam through his head – had Tony been attacked? The arc reactor? He ran down the stairs, and Drew, who had apparently heard Tony's cries too, was hot on his heels. They burst into the lab to find Tony lying on the floor, sprawled out like a dead starfish.

"What's wrong? Tony? Are you ok?" Drew asked, concern in her voice.

"I'm… so… hungry…" Came the weak reply. Bruce helped Tony sit up and Drew whipped out her mobile.

"Is this… yeah? Good. I have a starving billionaire here. Make it big and come fast." She paused, and addressed Tony.

"Topping? They have margarita, onion, four-"

"I DON'T CARE!." He yelled.

"Pepperoni then. Yep. Large. Good." She turned back and hung up the phone.

"I have to go collect it… be back in fifteen minutes." Tony groaned again.

"What even happened?" Bruce asked once Drew had left the room.

"I have been hungry all day, but I was too busy and lazy to get food. Then I fell asleep in the lab and when I woke up in the night I thought I was dying!" There came an angry yell from the other room and a smashing sound as Drew punched the wall over his stupidity.

_It's midnight. I shouldn't be doing this._ Drew thought as she roared along the empty streets of Manhattan, Wolf galloping next to her and the pizza on the back of her bike. _I do too much for Tony._ She pulled up next to the tower and rang the doorbell. There was a gasp from inside, and next thing she knew the door had been blown off its hinges and there was a man made of iron lying on top of her, munching away on the pizza. She shoved him off and took Bruce's hand as he helped her up.

"Is the pizza good?" Bruce asked.

"Yeeeeeees." He cried.

"We're going back to bed."

"I love you guys."

"We know."

Well, the whole pizza was gone when they got up in the morning.


	25. Pancakes

"DREW! YOU HAVE _GOT _TO TRY THESE! OH MY GOD, IT'S LIKE THE SWEETEST THING EVER!"

"I'm right here Tasha." The Warrior said from across the table in the canteen on the helicarrier.

"Oh. Well have you tried these pancakes?"

"I made them."

"Oh. I thought Coulson did."

"Coulson can't cook."

"Oh." Drew facepalmed.

"Well they're really good."

"I know. I made them." A smile crept onto Tasha's face. It was not a nice smile.

"Soooooooo… why don't we give one to Fury?" Drew, too, smiled evilly.

_~Le place skip to Fury's office~_

The three Avengers – Tony, Drew and Natasha – stared down at Fury. The Director was asleep in his chair, with his mouth half-open and he was snoring softly. Tony giggled, and Tasha whacked him.

"Shush! Do you want him to wake up and catch us?" He shook his head solemnly. Drew bent over Fury and carefully slipped the eye patch over his head, wrapping it up and putting it into her pocket. She then cut the pancake into a smaller circle with her sword, and put that over Fury's eye instead. Tony came over and admired her work.

"Nice" he commented and walked out – but the girls weren't finished with Fury yet.

_~The next morning~_

Fury was not happy. He had overslept and was late for a meeting with the council. The Director walked briskly down the corridor, earning a few weird looks from various agents, but he just dismissed them with his death glare. They soon went back to their assigned tasks. Coulson was waiting for him outside the conference room or whatever it's called, and when he approached he stared at him with his mouth wide open.

"Is something… _wrong_?" Fury asked, irritancy in his voice.

"N-no sir, n-nothing at a-all." Fury grunted and burst through the doors into the conf. room. The screens switched on around him, and as the other members of the council came online, they all began to shout angrily.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?"

"UNACCEPTABLE!" From one of the agents – the joker of the group – came a:

"Have you looked in the mirror recently?"

"Wha-what?" Fury stammered, and rushed out. He ran back to his room and stared in the mirror. His eyepatch had been replaced with a pancake, and his whole face was covered in – makeup. Lipstick, eye shadow, you name it he had it. He peeled the pancake off his eye and nibbled it. His eyes narrowed. He knew exactly who was responsible.

"COULSON! GET ME THE BIG GUN THAT GOES BOOM!" Avenger-hunting time.

**Reviews/suggestions are always welcome! XP**

**Kittehkatkakes xxx**


	26. The Tube Incident

**Hellloooooooooo everybody and welcome back toooooooo this fanfic! So, yesterday I went to a Michael Jackson concert (Yes, I know he's dead, it was an impersonator) and while I was on the tube this happened (I DO NOT OWN A GUN ONLY A FEDORA). Review/PM me, suggestions/questions are always welcome,**

**Kittehkatkakes xx**

"No, Tony, you cannot wear my fedora." Drew said for the millionth time.

"No, Tasha, you cannot 'borrow' my gun on public transport." She told the whining redhead.

"Pleeeeeease?" They pleaded.

"No." The Warrior gave her best serious face, and whispered something to Hawkeye. He nodded, got up and began to distract Tasha. The four of them were on a mission… on a tube. It was really Bruce's fault, he had had an episode whilst they were developing the new transport tech and it wasn't ready for their mission. So they had had to take public transport back to the tower. Now it was just Tony she had to deal with.

"No, Tony."

"But its soooo pretty!" He made a grab for it, but she ducked. Then Tasha grabbed her gun and pointed it at a random man who screamed like a girl and jumped off at the next station. The Warrior took the gun back and concentrated on Tony again. He made another grab, but this time she swerved to the side and fell backwards. The stupid fold-up chair folded up, trapping her leg, and she landed hard on the floor. Wolf padded over and she slung an arm round his neck, allowing him to help her get back on her feet. Tony sat checking his reflection out with the hat on – god knows how he got it, but it wasn't on _her _head any more. She grabbed it, and much to Clint's amusement, stormed off the train and flew the rest of the way. Later Tony Stark would find that he was missing a small amount of money to pay for a room's worth of ice cream.


	27. Don't mix pure magic with pure energy

**Hiya! This just popped into my head! I had my HPV vaccination yesterday and it hurts a lot, so sorry if it's not my usual writing! PM me/leave a review,**

**Kittehkatkakes xxx**

"DREW!" The Science Bros. yelled.

"WHAT?" The Warrior yelled back.

"WE NEED YOU!"

"WHY?"

"EXPERIMENTS!" She sighed, remembering the last experiment. That had landed her unconscious with a nasty bruise on her head. But there was no changing their minds if the Science Bros. were set on a project, so Drew just took the elevator down to the lab.

"Ah! Good! You're here!" Tony cried.

"Could you give this a blast of ice please?" Bruce asked. She did as told, and the beaker of chemicals froze over.

"Fire now." The beaker unfroze and caught fire before burning out quickly. Tony took notes on a clipboard that had nyan cat stickers all over it, and when he finished took a sample of her blood without asking. The Warrior flinched, before realising what he was going to do.

"NO! TONY!" But it was a bit late. There was a massive explosion, and the whole tower rumbled. The smoke alarm went off.

_~Upstairs~_

Tasha, Clint, Thor and Cap were chilling on the couches, catching up on Doctor Who.

"What's that?" Cap asked.

"His sonic screwdriver." Clint asked.

"What's a sonic-"

"JUST SHUT UP AND WATCH IT!" Tasha screamed. Then the whole tower rumbled and everybody jumped to their feet.

"You may sit back down. Master Stark assures me that there was just a… small mishap in the lab." Came JARVIS's voice. Then the elevator doors opened and out came three very stunned Avengers, with singed, sticking-up hair. Tony's clothes caught fire, and the sprinklers came on. But he and Drew were too busy arguing to notice.

"…Told you a million times, don't mix pure magic with pure energy!"

"Well who knows that?"

"I don't know… maybe just me, and EVERY OTHER PERSON ON THIS ENTIRE PLANET?!"


	28. Pumpkin Carving (Halloween Special)

**I am soooo sorry I have rejected this beautiful fanfiction! Roxy Emeralds, your requested chapter is on the way (I'm still having trouble with that link – help!) Back on topic, I haven't updated because this half term has been absolutely **_**hectic **_**for me. Any suggestions/questions etc. PM me or leave a review – Happy Halloween guys! **

**Kittehkatkakes xxx**

The Warrior sang along softly to the radio as she worked.

"You've been hit by, you've been struck by a smooth criminal." She considered firing her gun, but Tony would probably kill her if she ruined the walls again, so instead she just shrugged and carried on. As _Smooth Criminal _ended and her favourite song came on, Drew began dancing as well.

"So this is what you meant, when you said that you were spent, and now it's time to build from the bottom of the pit right to the top - don't hold back - packing my bags and giving the academy a rain check.

I don't ever wanna let you down; I don't ever wanna leave this town, 'Cause after all - this city never sleeps at night,

It's time to begin, isn't it? I get a little bit bigger but then I'll admit I'm just the same as I was, now don't you understand that I'm never changing who I am.

So this is where you fell, and I am left to sell, the path to heaven runs through miles of clouded hell right to the top - don't look back - turning to rags and giving the commodities a rain-check

I don't ever wanna let you down, I don't ever wanna leave this town, 'Cause after all - this city never sleeps at night,

It's time to begin, isn't it? I get a little bit bigger but then I'll admit I'm just the same as I was, now don't you understand that I'm never changing who I am.

It's time to begin, isn't it? I get a little bit bigger but then I'll admit I'm just the same as I was, now don't you understand that I'm never changing who I am.

This road never looked so lonely; this house doesn't burn down slowly to ashes, to ashes.

It's time to begin, isn't it? I get a little bit bigger but then I'll admit I'm just the same as I was, now don't you understand that I'm never changing who I am.

It's time to begin, isn't it? I get a little bit bigger but then I'll admit I'm just the same as I was, now don't you understand that I'm never changing who I-"

"DREW!" She whipped around and glared at Tony, annoyed that he had interrupted her magnificent ending. And for what? He was carrying one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, _ten massive pumpkins._ The one balancing on his head fell off, but he caught it with his foot again.

"W-what are you doing?" She giggled.

"What are _you_ doing?" The Warrior turned around to look at the ingredients for the Halloween cake she was supposed to have been making – well, the cake that should have been made an hour ago. She had kind of scrapped that and had a singing-into-my-gun concert instead.

"Nothing…"

"ANYWAY!" Iron Man yelled, throwing four of his pumpkins to Drew who proceeded to dump them on the table, acting like this happened every day in Avengers Tower (which, technically, it did) and prancing round the kitchen,

"We are going to carve pumpkins!"

"Why do you have ten? There are only seven of us!"

"AH! The moment of truth! JARVIS!"

"As you wish, Sir." Came the AI's voice. A hulk-sized container (much like the one used to contain Loki) rose out of the floor – containing three very angry S.H.I.E.L.D agents – Nick Fury, (who looked like he might destroy Tony from the inside out) Phil Coulson (yelling as many threats as he could think of, including taking away every single piece of Tony's lab equipment) and Maria Hill (she had the big gun that goes boom.) Drew just facepalmed.

…

"PAIR UP PEOPLE!" Clint yelled.

"We… have our own pumpkins, Clint." Tasha pointed out.

"Oh… right. PAIR UP BUT DO YOUR OWN PUMPKINS, PEOPLE!" Drew and Tasha walked off with the two biggest pumpkins and sat on the farthest couches. Bruce and Tony took their pick and stood near the stove in the kitchen, Clint and Coulson took the bottom of the stairs and Nick and Maria sat next to the elevator – which just left Steve and Thor standing next to the table.

"What is the point of this orange ball?" Thor asked curiously.

"I… I think you cut shapes in it. But scoop the insides out first!"

"Ahhhh…" He raised the scalpel, and cut the lid off the pumpkin very, very carefully (as instructed.)

_Meanwhile with the Science Bros…_

"Bruce – look at this!" Tony pointed at his pumpkin, and when Bruce looked he saw that Tony was about halfway through cutting out his face. On the other hand, Bruce had cut out a test tube and was beginning to draw other chemical/sciency stuff round it. Both the boys were covered in pumpkin guts after Tony had claimed he developed a new pumpkin-gut clearing chemical (which had of course exploded.)

"So arrogant…" he muttered.

_To him with the eye of hawk and the son of Coul!_

"Typical." Coulson mumbled when he saw what Clint was carving into his pumpkin.

"Yup!" Clint cried with a bright smile. He had carved a hawk with a bow into his pumpkin, whereas Coulson was carving Jack Skellington into his – he loved The Nightmare Before Christmas. Fury and Maria Hill's pumpkins were practically opposites – he had carved every single gun in the history of guns into his, she every flower in the history of flowers.

_Here comes trouble…_

The girls were working together on this one. Tasha hadn't started her pumpkin yet, because she had been helping Drew with hers. It was really beautiful – a skull with a hat on, and then her face next to it – herself and her partner.

"NAILED IT!" They shrieked.

"Let's make a start on yours… I have another amazing idea!" *Evil giggles*

_Cap and Thor_

"Thor, you have to dig the insides out with a spoon."

"Ohhhhhhhh - I UNDERSTAND!" He dug the spoon in rather violently – and flicked pumpkin guts everywhere, including into his eyes.

"AHHHHHHH! THIS ORANGE BALL IS ATTACKING ME! SPAWN OF SATAAAAAAN!" The God of Thunder then continued to freak out, cursing the pumpkin repeatedly, and finally bringing his hammer down on the pumpkin. Hard. Needless to say, it smashed into a million tiny pieces and pumpkin guts spilled everywhere. Tony looked over.

"Oh. Don't worry. I have a backup plan. JARVIS!" A hatch opened in the ceiling and another pumpkin fell in front of Thor. Drew raised an eyebrow.

"When did you get that installed?"

"Last week." She shrugged.

…

It was finally time to present their pumpkins to the others. Cap had gone with the traditional 'scary' pumpkin face, but Thor refused to show his yet. He looked very pleased with himself. Nick Fury and Maria Hill's were very impressive, as were Bruce and Clint and Coulson's, but everybody just sighed and shook their heads at Tony's. There were gasps of amazement at Drew's pumpkin, but she nearly fell off her chair laughing at the sight of Thor's. It looked like he had mostly burned it, and was poorly drawn – not even cut or hollowed out properly. He had drawn a pop tart. And labelled it. There was a grin on his face bigger than Mars, but Tasha's was bigger. She turned round her pumpkin _very slowly_, so Drew could give a dramatic drumroll. There, on the biggest pumpkin in the room, sliced in with shadows generated specially by The Warrior, was Nick Fury's face. He flipped the table.


	29. Youtube (Appleberry2504 requested chap)

**Right. Here it is. I am so sorry I could not get this chapter out sooner, and you must be really peeved with me, but I really struggled with the research and I was like "HELP ME PLEX ASDFGHJKL" but anyways! Appleberry2504 (A.K.A Roxy Emeralds) here is your requested chapter! Email me at sandylolzat , PM me/leave a review with suggestions/queries or if you just want to talk!**

**Kittehkatkakes xxx**

"No no no! Replay it! Please replay it!" Drew cried as she bounced up and down with Natasha on the couch. They were watching 'A Funny Montage' by Pewdiepie, and had just got to the part where he screamed "I'M ON MY PERIOOOOOOOD!" Bruce walked in to find them lying on the floor in a mess of arms, legs and hair, unable to get up because they couldn't stop laughing.

"I'm not even going to ask." He sighed and advanced in reverse out of the room.

"AH!" Thor bellowed from somewhere down the corridor. "I SEE YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO MOONWALK DOWN THE CORRIDOR, GREEN ONE! LET THE PROFFESIONAL SHOW YOU HOW IT IS DONE!" There was a rather loud sigh, and then:

"Get your pop tart crumbs _off me_." As the girls sat there and listened intently, they heard Bruce scream something a bit like "_NOT WITH THE HAMMER_!" And then there was a thud, and an "Oh. Whoops." Thor walked in and laid the limp body of Bruce on the couch, before snatching the laptop from the girls.

"Hey!"

"No fair!"

"Play nice!" He ignored their pleads and protests and clicked the YouTube search bar. Then he got his index finger and began to type – very, very slowly - about a letter every minute, laughing excitedly all the time. Steve and Clint walked in (well, Clint _strolled_, as he does) and immediately rushed over to Thor, pushing each other out of the way and complaining as they went.

"Dude! You told us you'd wait for us!"

"Come on, man, not cool! We had an agreement!"

"That's what they all say…" Thor replied in a voice that definitely was not his own. The girls, having finished trying to pull the laptop away from Thor, sat back exhausted and decided that it was more fun to watch this situation unfold than watch the Pewdiepie video – to be fair, they'd already seen it like three times. (Three meaning thirty.) They sat round the back of the couch, craning their necks to see what the trio were so excited to watch. _YouTubers react to Japanese Commercials – Fine Bros._ Typical. Natasha only watched up until she saw SkyDoesMinecraft, before she collapsed into Drew and dreamily stated,

"He's so hot…" Clint gave her an annoyed look. The Warrior staggered over to another couch, still supporting Natasha (who was now entering a catatonic state) but she didn't make it, and instead fell down halfway. She never bothered getting up, lazily making the decision that the floor was far more comfortable than any couch in this tower. There were occasional giggles and bouts of laughter from the three boys, who all stared transfixed like zombies into the computer screen with unavoidable grins plastered onto their faces.

"GUYS! CHECK THIS!" Tony suddenly ran in from the lab practically radiating excitement, holding up his own laptop. He stopped, looking at Bruce on the couch and the trio watching FineBros.

"Where are the girls?" An arm rose, slowly, from the floor.

"RIGHT! ANYWAYS! I HAVE BEEN DOING SOME RESEARCH-" Drew sat up from the floor and raised an eyebrow, cocking her head slightly. Tony _never _did research.

"ON LOKI-" That explained it.

"AND I DISCOVERED THIS!" He turned the laptop screen round, and the other Avengers crowded round it. Tony had even stopped Tasha daydreaming and ripped the trio out of their trance. Impressive. On the screen was a bunch of writing. Drew read it out loud.

"The first 3 you've cited were sired upon a giantess named Angerboða. Váli (or Áli) and Narfi were Loki's sons by his wife Sigyn, who was a giant goddess of Ásgarð. Sleipnir's birth is a bit strange since Loki was his *mother*! Loki transformed himself into a mare (female horse) in order to distract a stallion named Svaðilfari, which belonged to a certain giant. The stallion impregnated Loki, and the eight-legged Sleipnir was the result.

There is an even weirder reference to Loki doing something similar in the poem Lokasenna, a lot of which is taken up Loki hurling insults at his fellow gods. At one point during the exchanges, Óðinn accuses Loki of spending eight years in the form of a woman on earth serving as a milkmaid to a troll or giant to whom he, in his female form, bore children. We are not given the number, gender or names of these offspring, but if Óðinn's accusation is true then Loki had *more* than [the aforementioned] six kids." At the bottom of the text was a picture of Loki… pregnant. There was silence in the tower… before the girls sputtered into laughter.

"L-Lo-Loki was p-p-pregnant?!" Tasha managed to gasp out. By this time, Clint and Cap were laughing too, and Tony had a grin the size of three galaxies plastered onto his face.

"Thor… is this true?" He inquired.

"Aye. I remember it well… his belly was bigger than what humans like to call a 'beach ball…" there was a flash and Loki himself appeared, possibly about to challenge the Avengers to another war. What he expected was to see seven civilized people standing in front of him, ready for battle. What he found, however, was one unconscious person, two people supporting themselves by leaning on the doorway, one other practically crying with laughter on the sofa and a heap of red, white and black on the floor. Thor kind of just stood there.

"AH! HELLO BROTHER! HOW DO YOU FARE TODAY?" He bellowed.

"Wha-what is going on?" Loki spluttered. He then saw the picture of himself, pregnant, on Tony's computer and turned a deep shade of crimson.

"Outrageous!" He raged and disappeared in another flash of green.

"Wonder what caused him to leave so fast? It's a shame he didn't stop for a coffee…" Drew croaked out.


	30. Music Taste

**Email me at sandylolzat , PM me/leave a review with suggestions/queries or if you just want to talk!**

**Kittehkatkakes xxx**

"Admit it Clint." Clint lowered his bow from where he had been practicing archery with Drew and turned to face Tony who was leaning against the doorway. Drew was actually really good at archery, and he didn't want to admit she was better than him – even though it was true. He had seen her use her bow in battle before, and she didn't need special modified arrows that exploded to take out 10 Chitauri at once. Although he was pretty surprised when she took her staff off her back and it transformed into her bow.

"Helps me carry more weapons." She'd told him.

"Admit what?"

"You know what. I have better music taste than you. Isn't that right, Drew?"

"Don't bring _me _into this!" She complained, and ran out to practice somewhere else. This was gonna get dirty.

"AC/DC? Gimme a _break_."

"S' better than One Direction. _And let me kiss you,"_ he mimicked.

"I DO NOT LISTEN TO ONE DIRECTION!" Clint roared.

"DON'T LIE; WHEN I SYNCED YOUR STARKPOD YOU HAD ALL THEIR ALBUMS! JARVIS, CHECK HIS POD NOW!"

"PleaseJARVISpleaseJARVISpleaseJARVISpleaseJARVIS…" Clint prayed under his breath.

"Scanning… confirmed. Master Barton does indeed have-"

"SHUT UP JARVIS!" Clint ran past Tony and into the kitchen behind Bruce, hoping he'd have a hulk-sized shield if anything bad did happen to him.

"Oh Cli-int," Tony sang, "You know you can't run from meeee…"

"AT LEAST 1D DOESN'T DO SCREAMERS!"

"AT LEAST AC/DC DOSEN'T DO LOVE SONGS!"

"AT LEAST I CAN ACTUALLY HEAR THE WORDS!"

"AT LEAST IT DOESN'T MAKE ME LOOK GAY!" Bruce was kind of blocking this entire conversation out and reading his latest science magazine. Clint, however, was so done with Tony. He launched himself at the billionaire, fists and feet flying everywhere, trying hopelessly to prove his innocence. He felt something charge up against his stomach, and when he looked down he realised his mistake. There was a flash of blue and he was sent flying into the wall behind him. Bruce looked up.

"Seriously? It's been like 20 minutes since you had this argument…"


	31. Slender

**I am incredibly short of ideas. Plez PM me/leave a review/comment (if you're on Quotev – P.S thank you guys for over 100 reads!) All rights to respective idiots (I miss that line so much) And thank you to Mazza for the blackmail/threat ideas!**

**Kittehkatkakes xxx**

"Come on, Drew, it's not THAT bad!"

"Yes, it is! The sprite isn't nearly as nice and polite as he is in person!" Tony went goggle-eyed.

"You know Slenderman?!"

"Yup. He's a bit like JARVIS, actually. But don't prank him though. I painted a smiley face on his face once and he went ballistic." She furrowed her brow thoughtfully.

"But Dreeeeeew… you're the only one with enough guts to play the game!"

"While the rest of you sit next to me and scream?" She raised an eyebrow and cocked her head to the left slightly.

"Yes! That's the whole point!"

"Man up Tony."

"If you don't do it, I'll show your porn mag to the rest of the Avengers and everybody on the helicarrier." He held up a CBBC magazine.

"Firstly, I don't do porn. Secondly, that's yours. Thirdly, that's not even a porn mag."

"Shit."

_~Five minutes later~_

"If you don't play Slender with us tonight I will put a fluorescent collar and leash on Wolf."

"I dare you." Drew motioned to Wolf and he went over and sat in front of Tony like a good… Wolf.

"Right…" Tony straddled Wolf and began to tentatively clip the bright pink and purple collar onto him. He didn't react very well, and (much to Drew's pleasure) walked up a wall, dragging Tony straight into it. She realised walking on walls was fun.

_~Third time lucky… right?!~_

"Tony asked Natasha to ask Clint to ask Thor to ask Cap to ask me to ask you what are you most scared of?" Bruce mumbled as he half-concentrated on Drew and half-concentrated on his new whatsamajigga.

"The Faceless Ones." She replied instantly.

"Thanks." He mumbled again and shuffled off down the corridor down to the lab, ready to tell Tony the news he had received.

"You couldn't get any other information?" The billionaire complained. When Banner shook his head, Stark muttered something about improvising under his breath.

"*Ghost noise* I am a Faceless One! Fear me! I will kill yoooooou!" Tony yelled as he stepped out of the elevator, waving his arms around like an idiot. Drew looked over. He had a piece of paper taped to his face, with simply 'The Faceless Ones' written on it in permanent marker. She ripped it off calmly, earning a pained groan form Tony where the tape had stuck to his skin, and kicked him into the nearest table.

_~Do you know, I have gathered that Tony Stark is very, very persistent…~_

"Alright Drew, I didn't want to have to do this, but…" Tony said as he started to unlock his StarkPod.

"What? What's-" She didn't get to finish as she heard the intro to Anaconda at the highest volume possible.

"Fuck."

"My Anaconda don't-"

"NO! PLEASE! OK, I'LL PLAY YOUR STUPID HORROR GAME! BUT JUST TURN IT THE FUCK OFF!" The Warrior cried as she fell to the floor and covered her ears. Tony grinned.

"I cannot believe you threatened me into doing this." Drew said under her breath as she sat in front of the computer, the others crowding around her.

"I don't like this music…" Cap said in a small voice. They spawned in and Clint immediately screamed something about a rock.

"Over there, Man of Iron," Thor exclaimed, pointing toward a page.

"I'm not playing the game, stupid!" Tony whispered. Drew went over and collected the page, to which a loud banging noise started up. Tasha screamed and clung onto Drew's shoulder, who stiffened. They had set Slender's behaviour to 'pop-up' to increase the jump scares. Any time now he could show up and kill them.

"Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck, fuckfuckfuck, fuckfuck…" She sang softly, desperately hoping she didn't look as scared as she felt. Horror games were not her thing. Now real life horror, that was completely different, but-

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Bruce screamed as Slender popped up near the next page.

"Screw it." The Warrior stated and turned around.

"RUN! HOLD SHIFT! HOLD SHIFT TO RUN!" Tony screamed.

"I'M HOLDING CAPS LOCK!" She shrieked back.

"HOLD SHIFT YOU FUCKER!" Maybe she should have confiscated that last bottle of vodka…

"WE HAVE ZERO STAMINA! WE'RE DEAD! WE WERE ONLY RUNNING FOR FIVE SECONDS!" Clint yelled.

"You counted?" Cap asked. He nodded.

"I'm not judging…"

_~Like three games later~_

"We're dead."

"No we're not."

"Yes we are."

"No we're not."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"STOP FIGHTING!" Bruce yelled at Clint and Tasha.

"We made it. We-we made it!" Drew yelled gleefully. She danced around the room before slipping on the floor.

"Ow." She got up and scrambled back into her seat, feeling incredibly pleased with herself. She had finished! There were hugs and smiles of victory, before Drew was about to log off the PC.

"Wait… why hasn't the game shut itself? I thought it's supposed to do that?" She tried moving the mouse, and then WASD to move in the game.

"I can't move! What's- TONY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!" She screamed as she jumped back in shock from the PC. There was now a gaping hole in the middle of it from where she had punched the animation of Slender after it popped up. Of course, Tony had installed the version of the game where it stays open no matter what you do and then gives one last massive jumpscare.

"I have to make a phone call…" she muttered and walked out, much to Tony's amusement. The other Avengers were about as shocked as she was.

_~Just before bed~_

Drew was the first to say goodnight, finally over her trauma after hours of comforting. As she approached the door, a figure popped in front of her.

"Oh – you're here." She shook his hand and leaned in for a hug.

"Hello, child." Drew turned around, revealing the unnaturally tall, faceless figure behind her.

"Guys, meet Slender." He raised a hand in greeting.


	32. Stuck in a wall

**PM me/leave a review with suggestions/etc.! All rights to respective idiots,**

**Kittehkatkakes xxx**

**P.S. FOLLOW MY TUMBLR XD**

"Hello?" Nick Fury said in a weary voice as he picked up the phone.

"I need your help." Came the Irish accent from the other end of the line.

"Doing what? I'm busy." He was about to hang up, but there was a desperate shriek from the phone.

"No! Please! I can't really talk to anybody else about this." The Director sighed.

"What do you want?"

"OK. Well. I'm-I'm-I can't! I just can't!" The Warrior sounded very distressed.

"Is something wrong? Do you want me to send out backup?" Another shriek, but worried this time.

"No!"

"Then what do you need?"

"Fine. I am lost." He laughed.

"That's it? Really? Come on, Drew, it's really not that bad – I'm sure thousands of people have been-"

"That's not everything." He waited for her to continue.

"I am stuck… in a wall." Nicholas Fury was not a man with a sense of humour. He barely ever cracked a smile, let alone a laugh. However, this incident was an… exception.

"You-you're what?!" He managed to gasp between bouts of laughter.

"I am stuck. In a wall. This is not a funny situation. Get your lazy ass out here and help me."

"How the hell did that happen?"

"Earth magic."

Phil Coulson burst into the Bridge. He had heard a horrible noise, the source unbeknownst to him. Was the Director dying? Again? He strolled worriedly toward Maria Hill.

"What the hell is that noise?" She listened intently for a minute.

"Fury seems to be… laughing." Coulson almost fainted.


	33. Avengers sleep in weird places

Tony Stark lay in bed. He tossed and turned. He lay still. He flipped over. He shut his eyes and counted all the bad guy's asses he'd managed to kick. He opened his eyes and chucked a pillow across the room. It wasn't working. Why had he never bothered to invent a drinks machine? Bruce was right; maybe he should stop wasting his time on underwear-sorters and do something useful with his time. He made a mental note of his next genius project, sat up and sighed. As practically the whole universe knew, Iron Man was lazy. This was his last option and resort. He stood up.

"Owwwwwwwwwww my legs." He sat back down. But the thirst and the feeling he was dying drove him to get up again. Stark crept to the door.

"Ow! Fuck!" He muttered under his breath. He'd smashed into a wall.

"Other way…" Bang into the desk. The billionaire stifled a scream and clutched his knee where there was bound to be a bruise tomorrow.

"JARVIS… lights please…" he squeaked out. This was why he'd invented the AI in the first place.

"Your wish is my command!" JARVIS exclaimed.

"Please stop quoting Disney… I knew I should never have left Clint alone with my laptop…" When the lights did come on, he made his way to the door, and crept out into the corridor.

"Dun dun doo dun dun, dun dun," he sang to the Batman theme tune, before realising that yes, he was a superhero too, and yes, he did deserve his own theme tune, and yes, he had messed his movies up. Suddenly the genius billionaire playboy philanthropist began to twerk his way down the corridor, screaming

"MY ANACONDA DON'T – MY ANACONDA DON'T – HASHTAG MY ANACONDA DON'T WANT NUN UNLESS-"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Came Natasha's annoyed voice from the door to his left. Tony abandoned the singing, deciding that stealth was the better option. He didn't want to be murdered by an angry assassin in the morning. Stealth. Yup. Definitely stealth. He made it down to the living room without another incident, but tripped over a bump in the carpet and fell flat on his face, smashing his nose on the sofa. Groaning in pain, he stamped down hard in frustration on the carpet and stumbled to the door. But not before tripping headfirst over that sofa and landing on the floor with a 'thud'. Cautiously making his way into the kitchen, he knocked over a few chairs and could have possibly flipped the table until, after what seemed like an age and the longest journey of his life, Tony Stark made it to the low hum of the glory of the fridge. Fabulous. In his thirsty state, he swung open the door and grabbed the milk, drinking it straight from the carton. Stark turned around with the intention of sitting on the table.

"You are so lucky I don't drink milk." Startled, he jerked the carton upwards and splashed the milk all over his face… and his hair. Great. He fumed at Drew, who stood grinning like a maniac in front of his face.

"What the hell was that for?"

"You woke me up."

"Your room is upstairs on the top floor! How'd you get down here so fast?!" She merely pointed toward the ceiling, where in the rafters was a pile of blankets and pillows. Not her as well.

"How many times have I told the people in this house not to sleep on the ceilings?!"

"Please, Tony. Every person from here to Gallifrey knows that the ceilings and floors and walls and all other surfaces in this house are way more comfortable than any chair you could ever own." She thought back to one chair, her armchair, back at her partner's house. The Warrior had spent many nights with her feet slung over one arm, her head the other, sleeping, her partner meditating next to her. But she was still telling the truth – Tony would never get his hands on that. It was all the way in Ireland!

"I'm going to shower." He muttered. "Oh – and by the way, Drew, what was that lump in the carpet?"

"What lump?" She crept into the living room and switched on the light. There, in the middle of the floor, was Cap – fast asleep on the carpet. Suddenly, there was an 'AAARGH!' From the air vents, and she looked up just in time to see a startled Clint fall though the vent. He woke up wondering why he had a concussion and a bruise on his head, Cap why he had a Stark-slipper shaped bruise on his chest. Avengers sleep in weird places.


	34. Defusing a bomb

**So thank you to my friend Mazza, who gave me the idea for this fanfiction! PM me/leave a review, I am open for suggestions etc.!**

**Kittehkatkakes xxx**

"OK, it's the red one, right?" Tony asked as he crouched over the bomb he was supposed to be deactivating for the Avengers' latest mission.

"No, blue!" Bruce shot back.

"I promise you it's the red one."

"I'm telling you it's the blue one!"

"No, Bruce, red symbolises danger and therefore by cutting the red wire we will solve the problem!"

"Antony Stark, I am telling you it's the blue wire."

"Red."

"Blue."

"Red."

"Blue."

"Red."

"Blue."

"Red."

"Blue."

"Hey, what's that green and black wire for?"

"What green and black wire?" _Snip._ There was silence.

"See, I told you it was the red one." _Boom._


	35. Stuck in the air vents

"Drew. Drew!" Clint hissed between his teeth.

"What?" She hissed back over their comms.

"Help me!"

"Where are you? You've disappeared again. Are you on another mission?"

"No, I'm still in the tower." She waited for him to continue and give her his exact location, but when there was silence, she gave up.

"Barton, this tower has at least thirty floors. I have been lost more times than you could imagine trying to find my way to my bedroom door. How do you expect me to find you?"

"Well, that's the problem. I'm lost. And stuck." She raised an eyebrow. Fury would not be happy to find out that two Avengers had gotten themselves lost and stuck within two weeks.

"How did you get stuck?"

"Well, you know that bit in the air vent between Tony's room and the kitchen?" He mumbled.

"Clint! I told you not to go down there, it's too thin! How do you suppose we get you out now?" She scolded.

"Come and get me…?" He asked hopefully.

"Fine. I'm on my way."

She stood underneath the air vent, looking up into the blackness.

"You up there?"

"Yeah." Came the strained reply.

"Kay. I'm coming up." She told Clint, and climbed on the kitchen countertop before reaching up to the air vent.

"Shit. I can't reach." She told Wolf who was sitting on the floor. He nodded his head toward a footstall lying across the room.

"That works too." The Warrior decided, and jumped down. When she hefted it up onto the countertop and climbed back up, Clint was getting impatient.

"I'm starting to get hungry."

"Yeah well you might just find your pants on fire in a minute if you don't shut up." She climbed onto the footstall, wobbling dangerously for a second before catching her balance and hoisting herself headfirst into the air vent. Drew crawled up, feeling the vent getting thinner and thinner, before she felt a foot in front of her hand. She jumped in shock, banging her head against the top of the vent, and stifled a scream for a moment before she realised it was just Clint and she could relax.

"Ouch..." she moaned.

"You ok?" He asked.

"Apart from minor head injuries, yeah. I'm fine."

"Good. I can see the vent widens up a couple of feet in front of me, so if you could just give me a push, that'd be great." She grinned at his use of the meme, and laced her fingers around the bottom of his shoe.

"Push up now with your leg." She told him, and he stretched out.

"Just… a few feet further…" he called, straining his muscles to try and wriggle free.

"You're out of reach." She told him, and wriggled to attempt to get her staff off her back. She couldn't move.

"Clint…?"

"Yeah?"

"Did we ever consider that my wings might be too big to fit down here?"

"…No…"

"Tasha?" Drew whispered over the comms. Natasha was the next best person to call and not be teased by for a month in an awkward situation, after Drew.

"Sup?"

"Well… do you… think that you could come into the air vent above the kitchen for a sec…? I have something to show you…" Drew said awkwardly.

"Nice going, noob." Clint told her.

"Well did you have anything better to say? She's on the comms now if you wanna talk to her yourself."

"Drew? Who are you talking to?" Tasha called as she made her way ninja-style up the air vent.

"Clint." She replied, and she could practically see the grin on Tasha's face, despite the dark.

"Are we planning another prank on Tony?" She inquired excitedly.

"Actually no. nothing like that. We're stuck." Clint blurted.

"Come on, guys! I expected better!" She giggled.

"Get us out then!" The two embarrassed Avengers spoke in unison. There was a silence.

"…Ah."

"What?"

"I knew I shouldn't have eaten that extra cupcake last night." If Drew had the room to move, she would have face palmed.

"So who do we call now?" Tasha asked.

"Try Cap. He might just let us live this one down." Drew blessed them with the idea.

"Okay. Cap… Cap are you there?" Clint grunted. There was a muffled reply they could hear from the other end of the line, and Clint proceeded to explain the situation to Steve. There was another reply, and what sounded like a _lot _of laughter, and Cap's face appeared at the bottom of the air vent. Not that they could see him, anyway, but his grin was the size of Jupiter.

"Cap, if you can, crawl in backwards." Drew called out.

"A bit late, soldier." He replied.

"Ah, screw it." Clint told them. "We'll get out in a minute anyway."

"Yeah, if a minute means 15?" Cap asked hopefully. He'd unhelpfully pulled his shield out, wedging it in the gap between him and the other three.

"Great. Just great." Clint groaned.

They heard the faint whirr of Thor's hammer below them.

"NO! THOR! DON'T THROW THE HAMMER INTO THE VENT!" Cap screamed hysterically. The whirr slowed down, and then stopped altogether.

"There seems to be a voice in the metal tube that sounds like friend Steve!" Thor exclaimed, surprised.

"That's because it _is _Steve, you dumb-" Clint remembered the last time he'd called Thor a dumbass _**(first chapter of this story (What is this YOLO?!))**_, and stayed quiet.

"Thor, it's a good job you're here. Do you think you can jump up and pull Steve out, legs first?" Drew asked.

"Of course, friend Warrior!" There was a clanging noise, and then a bump and a smash, and all four Avengers in the vent did their best to wince (what with them being stuck and all.) Then an

"Oh."

"What?! What's wrong?!" Thor cleared his throat.

"I… do not understand. My arms are trapped beneath me! What is this foul wrongdoing?!" Clint sighed.

After around a half-hour of Thor freaking out, they heard a voice – this time from the opposite end of the vent.

"Well well, what do we have here?" A grinning face popped up. Clint frowned.

"This is not funny, Stark. Get. Us. Out." Tony went into hysterics.

"Five little Avengers, sitting in the vents. Five little Avengers, sitting in the vents. One went-"

"I'll blow your ass off if you don't get me out," Drew sang, and Tony stared in shock before scrambling up.

"That boys, is how you get a billionaire to do what you want without breaking a sweat." Tasha commented.

"Guys… I'm… a little stuck…" Tony admitted.

"Come on Stark, your legs are still out of the vent!"

"That's the… fucking… problem… there's nothing… to hold on to…" He grunted whilst wildly swinging his legs around in order to get free.

"Someone call Bruce." Drew sighed.

_~Five minutes later~_

"I would much rather be in the lab right now." Bruce commented as he ran a hand through his hair.

"WE KNOW, FRIEND BANNER. WE WOULD LIKE HELP TO GET OUT OF THIS DREADFUL PLACE HOLDING US HOSTAGE." Thor yelled.

"Dude… don't yell." Banner climbed army-style into the vent, crouched in a ball like a mushroom.

"Coming… just a little… someone call Fury." Every single person in the air vent groaned.

"I am not happy."

"WE KNOW!"

"Seven. Seven of you, in an air vent."

"Like it's our fault!"

"I have trained you to think of the best strategies, the best counter-attacks, and you get yourselves stuck in an air vent. Unbelievable." Fury yanked Tony out by the legs, and climbed in legs-first from the kitchen side. He gripped onto the sides of the air vent and pushed himself in, so each Avenger popped out, one by one. A chain reaction. Finally, it was just him stuck in the middle. Stuck.

"Uhhh… guys? Help?"

**I am open for suggestions!**


	36. TheAwesomeCocoPuff's Request (yaaay)

**Thank you to TheAwesomeCocoPuff for the suggestion for this chapter! Review/PM me with suggestions or if you just want to talk! Allons-y!**

**Kittehkatkakes xx**

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, heroes in a half-shell, turtle-"

"WHAT ARE YOU _DOING?!_" Tony yelled from the elevator.

"Watching TV!" Cap protested.

"WHAT?"

"Watching TV!" The billionaire ran over and wrenched the remote off Steve, before turning the volume down. Waaaaay down.

"Bruce nearly had an episode because it was so loud! What were you thinking?!" Tony hissed. Cap shrugged.

"It's my favourite programme; I'm allowed to have it as- HOLY SHIT CHANGE THE CHANNEL MY LITTLE PONY'S ON NEXT!" He grabbed the remote back and switched over, turning the volume up as loud as it would go.

"Hello everyone!" Came Pinkie-Pie's voice from the TV.

"AAAAARGH TURN IT OFF I SWEAR TO GOD THAT HORSE IS IN EVERY CREEPYPASTA EVER THIS IS EVIL SORCERYYYYYYYYYY!" Came a frightened yell from Natasha down the corridor. Then there was the sound of running footsteps, a figure leapt from the air vents, and there was no TV anymore. No TV meaning it was crushed to bits underneath Clint and Natasha.

"Great…" Stark muttered.

"Tooooonyyyyyyyyyyyyy can you sync my StarkPod again." Drew called.

"Kinda busy." He yelled back, staring at the mess of arms and legs in front of him.

"Pleeeease?"

"Fine. Gimme." She strolled in and handed the StarkPod to Tony, but not before gaping at Clint and Natasha who were just being plain lazy and refusing to get up. That or they had broken their spines. Anyway, Tony was scrolling through her songs when he stopped and erupted into laughter.

"What's so funny?" Drew leaned over his shoulder as he tapped on the song.

"AND I WAS LIKE BABY-" Drew frowned.

"What's wrong with that song? She's a great singer!" Clint also burst out laughing.

"He is terrible! How in heck's name can you like that?"

"Wait… it's not a girl?" Both boys shook their heads hysterically.

"Screw that." She stormed out. The boys looked over to Tasha, who looked just as shocked as Drew had been.

"Not you too…" Tony groaned. Ever so slowly, Tasha nodded.


	37. TheAwesomeCocoPuff's Request (Part 2)

**OKAY! This is the second part of TheAwesomeCocoPuff's request – enjoy!**

**Kittehkatkakes xxx**

Thor sat and stared at the laptop. What was this mortal technology? The man of iron had told him to press keys and buttons, and things would pop up or something. Nothing was happening. He pressed them harder. Still nada. After a few more minutes, Thor began to panic. Why was nothing happening? Had he broken it? Oh Odin's beard, not this one too – what would the man of iron and the green giant say when they found out?! Thinking fast, or as fast as he could, Thor lifted the cushion of the couch below him and hid the laptop under that. He then threw the cushion back down and sat on it; and just in time, for three seconds after that, Tony walked in to check on his progress.

"Uh, Thor? Where's the laptop?" The God of Thunder shrugged guiltily.

"Why is the cushion on the couch back to front?" Tony inquired curiously. Thor shrugged again.

"Stand up." He did so reluctantly. Stark walked over and threw the cushion across the floor. Below it laid a very crushed, sat-on-top-of laptop. Thor fled the scene.

_~Take 2~_

This time, Drew tried to mentor Thor. She actually showed him how to turn the laptop on, and supervised him the whole way through. They were exploring fanfiction , and Thor told her he had a 'bilge snipe-killing' idea for one. Drew, being Drew, encouraged him to write it, and left to get herself a soda. They had run out.

"Thor, carry on, OK? I'm going to go murder Tony." He carried on, engrossed in his writing, as the Warrior stormed downstairs.

"ANTONY STARK! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH ALL THE SODAS?!" There was a bang and a crash, and about five minutes later Drew came back upstairs carrying a mini-fridge. Full of sodas. She plugged it in in the kitchen, took one, and was immediately bombarded by Clint, Natasha and Steve, who had also been soda-deprived. Thor sat, engrossed in his writing. When she had finished enjoyingher soda, Drew walked back over to Thor.

"Let me see what you've done so far?" She asked, and leaned over his shoulder to read what he'd written. She scrolled to the top of the document and began.

"In the beginning, there was nothing. Then- No, Thor, you can't post bible passages on fanfiction!"


	38. Lost in the mall - Cat Girl's request

**HI! So thank you to Cat Girl (guest) who gave me the suggestion for this chapter! I am open for suggestions, Pm me/leave a review!**

**Kittehkatkakes xxx**

As they wandered around the mall, the Avengers chatted and laughed amongst themselves. Most of the Avengers. They were one man down, as usual. As soon as they had stepped through the double doors, Tony had run off to find himself a new fancy gadget he would waste thousands of pounds on, use for a week and then completely forget about. Like I said, as usual. When the remaining men finally pulled Drew and Tasha away from the book store so they could grab a bite to eat, the billionaire was still nowhere to be seen or heard. That could either mean 'good, he's lost,' or 'we're gonna be in big trouble later.'

"Where is he? Bruce, could you go check all the tech stores and see if you can find Tony?" Steve asked. Bruce, although he refused to admit it, was kind of missing Tony and his antics. He nodded and sauntered off, head in a tech magazine.

"Oh, my god." Clint muttered.

"Yes?" Drew and Thor answered at the same time.

"You're a god?" Some random guy from a random table asked Drew.

"Well, yes. I am powerful enough to be one." She answered. The guy raised an eyebrow sceptically.

"I don't believe you." She too raised an eyebrow and snapped her palm against the air. The guy's tray flipped, spilling an orange liquid over his white shorts and expensive-looking t-shirt. The tray turned to dust, and the sandwich hovered for a moment before flying into his face, leaving it smeared in egg salad. He gave her an angry look and stormed off, muttering unmentionable words under his breath.

"Excuse me?" Drew proclaimed.

"Watch this…" She whispered to Tasha. Waving her hand in a small circular motion, she muttered something to herself and flicked her hand towards the man. Nothing happened for a few moments, and then he began mildly scratching his thighs and legs. The scratching got worse and worse, until he was practically screaming. The whole restaurant was staring at him in shock and awe and total silence. Then there was a giggle. And then the whole restaurant erupted into various degrees of laughter as an army of ants crawled out of the guy's shorts. Of course, the two troublemaking girls were laughing hardest of all.

When they finally managed to calm down and turned back to their table, Clint and Steve were nowhere to be seen. Thor sat, content with his latest box of pop tarts, and as the girls looked around curiously, they saw the two men sneaking into the new sports shop that had opened moments ago. They face palmed, and wandered off upstairs. Thor sat, content with his pop tarts.

…

It was getting late, and everybody was tired from walking around the mall all day.

"Let's head back to the others." Drew suggested to Tasha as they wandered around the last bookstore. The assassin nodded, and they staggered out of the shop, arms loaded with books. They made their way to the escalator. There was no escalator.

"Uhhh, Drew? Where are we?"

"Crud."

_~Clint and Steve~_

The boys were content running around the sports shops. They had sneaked off at lunch to the new one, and shown off their skills with all the different equipment. Typical. But now, like the girls, they were exhausted and were practically dragging themselves down the long, wide halls. They decided to make their way back to the tech store where the Science Bros. would be and wait for everyone else. There was no tech store.

"Steve, I think we might be lost."

"Why is it always us?"

_~Le skip to le girls~_

Wandering around the top floor of the mall, the girls were completely and utterly lost. They kept going in circles, watching out for anything new. But there was nothing new. They were going round in circles.

"I've had it…" Drew muttered. She flicked her hand, and a bubble appeared around the two Avengers. It lifted them up and out of the open window on the ceiling. Once outside, she navigated them to the entrance and they walked back inside. Tasha was grinning like a maniac.

"What's wrong?"

"I've never flown before." She grinned wider.

_~AAAAAAAAAAND back to the boys. ~_

Of course, Clint and Steve didn't have the common sense to find a map. So how did they make it to the tech store? Well, they used the chain of sports shops they'd been in to trace their steps, _obviously._ I mean, that would be the most sensible way to do it, right? Anyway, they spotted Drew and Tasha from a mile off, their arms loaded with books. They too were walking toward the tech store, but suddenly the dropped the books and ran straight into the store, yelling something like:

"GET OUT! EVERYBODY OUT!" The boys frowned and began jogging to the store, fighting against the crowds that swarmed out. Why would the girls be yelling at everybody to get out? They made it to the entrance and saw Tony fiddling at something with Bruce trying to pull him away with the girls practically shoving the employees out of the shop. They saw why in a minute.

"See, it's fiiiine! I told you I switched the right wire!" for the second time in a month, there was a _boom. _And silence. Then, through the opaque soot,

"Stark industries takes no responsibility for this incident."

A few hours later, the caretaker was cleaning the restaurant when he saw one lone man sitting at a table with ten empty boxes in front of him and a half-empty box in his hands.

"What are you still doing here? Everybody left hours ago, ya know." The caretaker drawled. Thor sat, content with his pop tarts.


	39. Lifting Thor's hammer

**I'm open for suggestions!**

The Avengers snuck around the tower stealthily. Well, as stealthily as they could manage. Clint tripped over a box. Drew fell off the ceiling. Steve walked into a wall. Natasha almost fired her gun at a spider and Tony flipped out about it. In fact, they weren't being very stealthy at all. They were attempting to enter Thor's room without being seen. By who, you ask? God knows. There was nobody else in the tower – Bruce and Thor were out shopping (for pop tarts most likely.) So naturally the Avengers were having a see-who-can-lift-Thor's-hammer-up contest. Odin was judging. So, when they finally made it down the last corridor with less than three _incidents, _Drew went first. Wolf padded along by her side as she bent down and grabbed the hammer. It lifted fairly easily.

"That's cheating! You're already a god!" Tony yelled. Drew didn't say anything. Instead, she walked subtly past him and dropped the hammer on his foot. There was a lot of screaming. Steve had to lift the hammer off of Tony's foot (considering he couldn't), ignoring the fact that everybody else was laughing and trying to stop him. Just as Natasha was about to take her turn, they heard a roar from somewhere deeper inside Thor's room. All the Avengers froze. Drew slowly crept around the corner, her gun out and her finger to her lips. Silence. Then, there were three gunshots and the sound of something smashing. Drew came rocketing around the corner, skidding on the floor. She was followed by a lumbering beast that obviously hadn't been hurt at all by her gunshots. The other Avengers were frozen, and she practically had to throw the out of Thor's room.

"What… does… he… keep… in there?" Tony asked breathlessly as he leant against the door. The door that then proceeded to fly off its hinges.

Now the five Avengers spent another hour being chased around the tower by this monster, before Thor came back and told them it was a completely harmless Bilgesnipe. Then it bit Clint.

"I don't think that's a bilgesnipe, Thor…" And let's just say Odin had to be called in for that one.


	40. Babyfied Avengers (Cat Girl's request)

**Thanks once again to Cat girl (guest) who suggested this! PM me/leave a review,**

**Kittehkatkakes xxx**

"Come on Drew, hurry up!" Tony pestered.

"No. Leave me alone." She stated blankly.

"Come onnnnnnnn, I just want to take a photo!" She shook her head.

"With a camera you've been developing for three months, yeah."

"That is a perfectly reasonable amount of time and if you don't come with me I will be forced to play anaconda." Drew sagged.

_~yay le time skip everybody loves a le time skip~_

"Come on, get closer together!" Tony insisted. Clint sighed and shuffled closer to the rest of the Avengers, and Tony grinned as they all stood there with awkward smiles and grins plastered onto their faces.

"Three, two, one…" he ran and joined the group. _Flash. _It hurt Drew's eyes. Then there was the sound of six babies crying. Why? Well the invention had gone wrong, naturally. She stood bewildered at the sight of a baby Clint trying to snap his bow in half, a baby Steve attempting to rip a baby Natasha's hair out, a crying Thor with a miniature hammer, and two sleeping Science Bros. She was the only adult left, seeing as she was created and not born. She had never had a childhood, only the clumsy days before she was badass. She picked up the baby Steve and Natasha, and stifled a scream as Tasha bit one of her wings. What the hell was she supposed to do?

_~Like, twenty minutes later~_

The Warrior walked to the kitchen. What was she supposed to feed the baby-fied Avengers? She didn't have a clue of how to look after children – she was supposed to save the world and fight and stuff, not babysit! And how long would the effects of the camera last? Drew shuddered, and put some milk in the microwave. That was what baby earthlings ate, right? There was a crash and a bang and a lot of screaming and giggling from the living room. Maybe she shouldn't have left the kids alone. Thor had struck the TV with lightning.

As she attempted to clean up, keep an eye on the Avengers and keep them all happy, Drew heard another bang and an explosion from the kitchen. She checked on the babies – all of them were in the same room as her, playing with Wolf. So what had exploded? She whistled to Wolf to keep going, then snuck into the kitchen. A baby Loki sat by a much-destroyed microwave, sucking his thumb innocently. She sighed and picked him up too. They were out of milk.

After much screaming and shouting and near-death, Drew decided the best thing to do was take them on a field trip to the helicarrier. She scooped up Loki and Thor in separate wings as they kept trying to kill each other, and let Natasha and Steve ride Wolf as they refused to let go of him. Tony clung onto her leg and Bruce sat sleeping on one of her arms. Clint just sat on top of her shoulders as if he was ruling the world. She walked awkwardly to the front door, Wolf by her side. She flew them to the helicarrier (much to the babies' delight) and landed on the roof. Dodging the lasers and stuff, she ran to the bridge and ducked inside. Coulson and Fury stared at the sight before them. Natasha and Steve had jumped off Wolf in a dangerous stunt that had almost ended up in the falling forty-thousand feet to Manhattan, but Drew caught them just before. She now had seven children pulling on her hair, biting her wings and just being a nuisance.

"You have got to help me." She muttered.


	41. AN

**Hey guys, just another Author's Note for you. I wanted to let you know that I will be continuing this series of spoofs, but I have writer's block right now and am genuinely short on ideas – so if you have any, any at all, no matter how stupid you think it is, TELL ME PLEX! Also, I am thinking of doing a Maze Runner fanfic with Drew in it but I might not publish that one as I'm not entirely sure of what you guys would think. Thank youuuuu!**

**Kittehkatkakes xxx**


	42. Don't let the girls have wheelie chairs

"Are you ready?" Tasha asked, putting on a very scientific voice.

"Yes." Drew answered with the straightest face she could muster.

"GO!" Tasha pushed the wheelie chair and Drew whizzed off down the corridor. She was sitting backwards on her knees, using her wings, arms and feet to navigate herself through the tower.

"Wooooooooh!" She yelled as she kicked off the wall and turned the corner. Tasha ran after her in a lab coat holding a clipboard. What was she writing on the clipboard? She was drawing a house. Don't ask me why. As Drew whizzed past Clint in the corridor yelling at him to get out of the way, he gave her a look that clearly said 'what did I just witness?'

"I'm not even going to question it…" he muttered as Tasha sprinted around the corner. They suddenly heard:

"NO! NOOOOOO NOT THAT WAY!" And a lot of banging and thudding, before a giant crash. Clint and Natasha winced with every noise, and Natasha ran to where the noise had occurred. Drew had crashed down the stairs, and the two Science Bros. lay in a heap with her and then the chair on top, the wheels still spinning. Don't leave the girls alone with wheelie chairs.


	43. Tree on fire

Tony stepped back from the Christmas tree he had been decorating for two hours. It looked _perfect. _There were lights everywhere, baubles hanging beautifully off the branches, and the star was balanced perfectly on top. But, a natural disaster ruined it all for the billionaire.

Drew and Tasha walked in. Drew was practicing her magic, and showing Tasha the 'pretty fire'.

"See, you click your fingers… and then you can send it…" she sent a fireball flying towards the Christmas tree, looking up too late to see what she'd done. The whole thing was alight, and Tony looked furious. Like, more furious than when they'd put several bullet holes in his new suit.

"Run." Drew breathed, and the girls set off sprinting around the tower. JARVIS turned on the sprinklers.

**This is not the official Christmas chapter, me and my friend Mazza are currently working on it! Happy Holidays!**


	44. Thor's Christmas Journey

**Thanks to Sailorraven34 who suggested this chapter, and my friend Mazza who helped me write most of it! I'm open for suggestions and stuff, so feel free to leave a review/PM me! Also this is the official Christmas chapter.**

**Kittehkatkakes xxx**

_Snow._

"Thor-"

_A beautiful, thick sheen of white across the glaciers, something a particular god had never witnessed properly before. Black boots trudging heavily through the vast sheet of ice, a group strives forward to find the world known figure, someone who changes the world each year._

"Hammer Head-"

_Throughout the tough and ruthless journey these heroes had faced so far, they had grown a bond that was unlike any other, a bond of true companionship and trust._

"Hellooo, Goldilocks? Is anyone home?"

"Cut it out, Tony, he's doing that inner monologue thing again; just roll with it."

"But Drew, I can't annoy him if he's-"

_I swear to Asgard if that tin man doesn't shut his feeble jaw -_

"Thor, I think… we found him." There was a sound, light and airy. Tinkling? It was a quiet jumbling sound of small thuds and that jingle of… Bells? The one who had just spoken, Clint, seemed to have his eyes locked on something in the sky, in fact the whole group did. Drew mumbled something that sounded very similar to 'Show off' along with Wolf grumbling in agreement, causing Drew to raise an eyebrow. Before the white haired woman could explain what she had meant a low booming chuckle resonated throughout the air, effectively shocking Thor into a fighting stance, hammer aimed at the sky. A thunderbolt began to charge, a whirl of electricity fumed from the handle to the hammer head itself, before anyone could comprehend what was happening. The bolt of ice blue crackled up to the sky, barely missing the sleigh and only making the laughter emit even louder.

Thor was ready to fire again, locked on target.

"Nope, no, no Thor, _NO_!" Bruce was grasping Thor's raised arm and trying (keyword trying) to lower it, the hammer pointed to an airborne sleigh which was still gradually approaching, again with that jolly string of laughter.

Tony just stared at the scene playing in front of him. This Santa thing had to be bullshit. There had to be gas tanks or miniature-structured jetpacks with carbonated helium being fuelled throughout the animals hooves, because there was no way those reindeer were flying towards him at the speed of a Toyota on a motorway by using fairy dust. No way in hell.

He was not a six year old and he was always right, so this had to be absolute bullshit. Mr. Puffy  
>Beard had to be doing something with his pets; Tony just had to figure it out.<p>

A large crash sent mounds of snow flinging towards them, smothering everyone's (except Tony who cowered behind Cap, and Drew who shielded herself with her wings) thick winter coats. Tasha was flinching at the cold and picking particularly big clumps of ice and snow from her auburn locks.

"Nicholas, you idiot…"

"Drew?! I haven't seen you in years!" everyone halted at the sight – a grand sleigh accompanied with eight reindeer, lined with bells and holly. The figure seated within the golden 'vehicle' was dressed in a plush deep red, along with a plump cap the same spiking red with a small white pompom at the end.

Thor blinked; he could not comprehend what type of battle gear this was, the plump man in front of him, adorned by snowflakes, looked so… fluffy. Thor could only remember the moment when he had asked about the strange festivities of the year earlier on that week, with Nick Fury and Drew going into religion and the 'Santa Claus'. Thor had been investigating this figure for days, looking up pictures, songs, websites, Christmas timers, Wikipedia – you name it, he'd searched it. And they had now finally very much bumped into the man, who frankly, made Thor _really_ want to hug him. The god was starting to feel guilty about nearly shooting at the old man, so he (tried to) apologise:

"Um, uh… um…" he was speechless.

"FAT MAN I APOLOGISE FOR NEARLY FRAZZLING YOU WITH MY BADASS SKILLS." He suddenly yelled. The other Avengers stared, some in shock and others *cough* TONY *cough* were shaking their heads in disappointment and mumbling:

"Why, Thor, WHY…"

Santa, on the other hand, seemed unaffected by Thor's apology and the fact the god tried to kill him. (Bruce thought to himself that Santa must have seen a lot of naughty children in his time if he was going to overlook attempted murder.) Wolf padded over to Santa and began nuzzling his hand and rubbing round his legs.

"Aaaawww, the doggy likes you!" Tony commented.

"HE'S NOT A DOG!" Both Drew and Santa yelled.

"Well what is he then?!"

"A Wolf, Tony."

"I'VE BEEN LETTING YOU KEEP A _WOLF _IN MY TOWER?!"

"DUH! And by the way, Tony, from what I've heard, you've been a very naughty boy…" Clint sang.

"Wait… he has!?" Santa exclaimed.

"Let me check my list…" he then produced tons and tons and tons of golden paper from his sleigh.

"Where the hell do you keep all of that?" Cap asked curiously.

"It's magic." Tony once again gave him a disbelieving look, but decided not to continue the conversation.

"OK Thor, you wanted to meet Santa Claus so… Now you have. Now can we all just go-"

"No."

"No?"

"There is one more thing I need to do…" The Avengers stared at Thor questioningly.

"What now?-"

"I MUST BATTLE THIS JOLLY PLUMP MAN TO SEE WHO IS THE MOST POWERFUL OF LEGENDS!"

It was official, Thor had finally gone loopy, and it was either that or he had some ice wedged in his brain. Despite Tony's doubts on the whole 'magical Christmas idea', Thor was being beyond stupid, how the hell did he think he could battle Santa? Yep, it was happening, Thor was going on the naughty list.

Santa began to chuckle heartily, "Ho ho ho, you're funny son, but I'm going to have to decline on that offer."

Thor was silent but his eyes were determined. "Fight me."

"No Thor, I do not-" Thor shot a rather small lightning bolt to the feet of the eight reindeers, startling one of the smallest who had an oddly red nose. It began to scamper around a little before Drew managed to calm it down. Santa began to take a rather menacing sparkle in his old eyes.

"Oh, my lad, looks like you're getting coal for Christmas this year!" Santa thrust his hands out towards the group, a stream of golden light building up in his palm, swirling and flickering.

Clint looked at Thor, a scolding glare being sent the god's way. "Seriously? YOU managed to piss off Santa? I would expect this from Tony at least but not you!" he face palmed and stood a safe distance away from the fight. Thor ran at Santa, who merely stepped out of the way, leaving the god to face plant into a mound of snow. Santa sent streams of golden light towards him, knocking him backwards and across the icy ground. The god stumbled to his feet, sending bolts of lightning across the icy plain and straight into Santa's chest, causing him to fall over. Drew kind of stood at the side, wondering if she should break it up or film the fight.

"I AM THE KING OF ASGARD! I AM A LEGEND! I REFUSE TO BE-" Thor was cut off by Drew screaming back in his face in an attempt to stop him killing Santa.

"I AM THE ONLY LEGEND AROUND HERE! Stop fighting. If you kill Nicholas, Thor, what will happen to the kids?" she helped Santa up, and Tony walked over, whispering to him.

"Listen, um, Santa. How do you get your sleigh to fly?"

"Magic, young lad. Magic." He muttered back. Tony stomped the ice and promptly fell through in his frustration.

"You know, maybe we should just go get coffee." Tasha mumbled.


End file.
